Ze Toronto Trip of ‘o9!

Ze Toronto Trip

DAY ONE.
We (Ed + myself) got to the airport at 7 in the morning, and we got on the plane at around 9. :D

The movie showing on the plane was the HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE, I shit you not. Rather than burning my eyes out of their sockets, I played Pokemon Platinum for the wholeeee flight. I also listened to music and went into trance-like states. I’m not crazy. )8
Ed read his Harry Potter book and took blurry pictures. Eh heh hehh.
We also had a creepy old guy sitting next to us on the plane — well, next to Ed — and he pretty much dozed on Ed’s shoulder the *whole* way up.

We didn’t take any pictures on the first day, aside from a few random ones on the plane, but, oh god. it. was. funnn.
We ~surprised~ Mai at her apartment, since us visiting in Toronto = a birthday present from her parents to Mai. (Hence why I never mentioned it before) And even though she had her little suspicions (I KNOW WE SURPRISED YOU, DON’T GIVE ME THAT), she was still ecstatic. We were all bouncing off the walls, it was crazy. I was *shaking* with excitement. I’ll never forget it. Her mother picked us up from the airport, and when we arrived at the apartment complex, she left to get the video camera to record the "OMG WHAT R YOU DOING HURR GUYZ" moment. Ed and I had to stand in front of the elevator, *perfectly quiet* as to not alert Mai of our noisy presence, for 3 minutes. Every 10 seconds, I poked Ed in the shoulder and asked, "ED DUDE CAN WE GO YET." And Ed would push me and say, "NO WE STILL HAVE x SECONDS." We hopped around silently for the 3 minutes, then sprinted down the corridor once it was up. It was brilliant.

The rest of that day was spent parading all over Toronto like a bunch of druggies.
→ Ed, Mai and I went down to the lake, where we chillaxed for the entire afternoon.
→ Ed karate-chopped a fly, RIGHT IN HALF.
→ We ate tons of pizza AND sushi. I have a light appetite, so I didn’t eat too much, but Ed pretty much died afterwards, since he ate… a plate of sushi and 3 slices of pizza. Plus ice cream and a shiteload of drinks.
→ Robin arrived at 11 that night, Robin and Ed watched some pointless gory horror film which I was *strongly against*, as I HATE that sort of thing, whilst Mai and I watched some Skins. PRETTY FABULOUS. Afterwards, we all watched Knowing together, it was pretty good. |D But the ending was a little, uh, woah.

THAT WAS DAY ONE. ♥

Day 2 = Warped Tour. My very first, to be specific. It was pretty fabulous, I don’t have much to compare it to (since only a few worthwhile bands come to Trinidad, and the crowd is always terrible), but still. A BLAST.
AND I GOT INTO NO FIGHTS THIS TIME. GO ME.

= Mai, reading out the list of artists we were gunna check out.
The majority of bands on the original lineup bailed out (;o;), but we ended up watching tons. UNFORTUNATELY, we did not get to see Jeffrey Star. DO NOT JUDGE ME, I WANTED TO SEE HIM. oh well…

After The Devil Wears Prada, we checked out 3OH!3. o3o I don’t like them that much, but it was fuuunnn. Please observe mohawk guy #345961 and his bright pink ears

CUE PICSPAM OF WARPED

ahahaaa


STORY TIME.
Mai smooshed her diet coke, and then Ed put it next to his. Then everyone was like, "it’s so TINY. omg it’s JAMIE!" And they lined up all the drinks. The other coke is mai and the water is Ed. I have dubbed Robin as the miscellaneous pouch in the corner, because she IS ALWAYS LAYING DOWN.

idk what she was trying to do
ed and robin xD

Robin, myself, and Mai. We were waiting for Antiflag to come on o3o

And they… were epic. I WISH we rushed into that crowd, but we had really awesome seats on some miscellaneous railing, so w/e. THEY PLAYED A SONG BY THE CLASH. )8 We all sang along (badly), but eh. 8D

We went for cotton candy afterwards.


facial…hair…?

blue lips :D

After that, we left.

Mai took some other exit, so we ended up having a fence splitting us apart. We made a big commotion out of this, naturally.

Mai’s mother was going to pick us up due to our lack of having a car, but uh. Something came up, and so, we were stranded by the highway for a good while. Like, 2 hours maybe?
oh, and that’s me kicking something impressively as ed "tsk tsk"s.

IT WAS HERE, we were stranded just across the street (and a little up) from here. xD;;

See? always laying down.

Mai had to pee, so we bugged a security guard to let us into this weird theater-esque building to use the loo, rather than the fire hydrant.

This is what I do when I’m bored

I bought shades at a miscellaneous booth at Warped. :>

I annoyed Mai by taking this picture, plus other variations of it
BUT IT’S SO CUTE

We went to the Hard Rock cafe afterwards…

I could not tear my eyes away from this bass. IT’S SO EPIC OMG. ;;

THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH DAY 2. Warped and Hard Rock, and later that night, we went back to the lake (pictures are after Day 3, I explained why there) and when we got back we all watched Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist ♥! It was sososo good. ;; I bought the DVD later on. o3o

Mai and I went for a midnight stroll afterwards, walking Ed back to his hotel, in our pajamas. It was sort of cold, but eh. As we wandered, we saw a gay couple holding hands, they looked like they were 20 or 21? Anyway, we decided to stalk them because we were creepy and hyper, so we did for a while. Idiocy aside, it was really cute. In Trinidad, no one does that sort of thing, since everyone here = homophobic. So if anyone did, they’d probably get hell for it. Or hurt, which would be even worse. It’s a shame, and it pisses me off, but who cares; 2 more years and I’m *hopefully* out of here.

NOW, DAY 3.

walking…

also, we’re wearing our OMGMATCHING Warped shirts (it was unplanned, I SWEAR. and mine was "Small," but SO BIG FOR ME LOL.)
people kept coming up to us and asking how the Tour was. This included a scruffy hobo holding up a sign saying "money for weed."

also known as "heaven on earth." or something close to it.

more walking

AND SHOPPING.
Mai danced dirtily with that for a while. Ed got some stuff, and I bought 3 shirts and some more bracelets. o3o Robin bought 2 shirts, I think.

effective advertising |Db

olol

We splurged at a candy parlor, then saw "God’s Garden." Of course, we *had* to go bum around in there. )8
God’s garden is littered with cigarettes, btw.

From behind, this statue looks like a very saggy… man-part. We were behind it, and we kept speculating on what it * actually was*. Ed was the one who got up and investigated. He took a picture to show us, because we were too lazy to move.

Robin’s white thighs… xDD

Mai dozing

This was actually not posed at all

FAIL ON WHEELS. Robin = gopher, Jamie = chipmunk


"EEEEDDD STOP TAKING PICTURES OF MEEEE D<"

My "bling," according to Ed

Later on, we went to see a Shakespeare play in some random park. We got lost 5 times on the way, and we took no pictures during it. It was pretty good, though♥ Afterwards, we were all fkgdfkghyper like woah, so, uh.

We wrapped Ed up in a blanket, he began calling himself "Voldemort" and screaming "EXPELLEARMUS" like a crazy person, and we all. guffawed. So hard. People stared. They stared a lot. )8

d’aw

possibly the most geeky picture of the entire trip…
…ed fell over after that one 8D;; We all went crashing down.

Okay, this is where the timeline breaks. We went to this lake every night throughout the entire trip, so it’s impossible to tell which lake-picture was taken on which day.
SO I’LL JUST LUMP IT ALL TOGETHER. xD

We took Voldemort!blanket with us… this was the night of the Shakespeare play

Robin is *still* laying down

I hate flash. xDD DEER IN HEADLIGHTS

We were stalked by a strange man during our second lake-visit. He sat under a tree, straight behind us, for the entire time we were there, just staring. it was sort of creepy, but we didn’t care. 8D;;
We had more “DRUNK ON LIFE~!” fun there. People must’ve thought we were total nutters or something. xDD

OKAY, BACK ONTO THE TIMELINE.

After the Shakespeare-Lake-Night (wow, what a title), we went back to the apartment at 11:30, and I was hungry, so I bought a hotdog from a stand which was SOMEHOW still open. We called it the ~midnight hotdog~. It was delicious. ♥

FINAL DAAAY.
We went to Ontario Place.

We ate lunch and sat by the… rocks next to some body of water.


Robin kept dropping her fries, and so this seagull kept attacking us for them. Ed declared it “his mortal enemy” and engaged in several brawls with it.


I-I WAS EATING, AND ED WAS ANNOYING ME FOR PICTURES, SO I WAS ABOUT TO TELL HIM OFF. but it was too late, and this picture is the result, lmao
To make matters worse, he stole my fries afterwards

We were stranded (again) in some other area next to the parking lot for an hour. IT WAS FUN, not as fun as the one at Warped, but still fun.

Anyway, we didn’t take any pictures after this, because Robin left the day after and Ed and I went to my Uncle’s house, but.

The day after
→ we said bye to Robin
→ got sniffly in the car
→ played with cheap, noise-making McDonald happy-meal toys
→ Mai, Ed and I went to my Uncle’s.
→ We saw a run-over squirrel in the road, which we wept for.
→ I got my ~LG ICE CREAM~ — my new phone — and dear god, it’s sexy.
→ Said “TTYL” to Mai~

And the day after *that*, Ed and I went shopping for a bit, where I got a pile of CDs and Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness…
And then we went on the plane at midnight and came home~

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, THE TRIP.
All in all, it was epic.
It just had so much ~freedom~ and. God. It was so much fun.
There’s so much I can’t include, because half of the brilliance was just us being stupid, but still. EPIC. ♥
I’ll never forget it; when THE CORE went to Canada. What a way to start off Summer!

Untitled.

Tonight was strange.
I was happy and free and very hyper earlier tonight, hanging around in Ruby Tuesday’s with Ed, Robin, and Tyler (Tyler’s visiting from the US). We made silly jokes (like a BOSS) and had an all-around good time. I said my “goodbyes” to Robin, I felt perfectly fine. I had some emotional conversations on MSN, and at 12:30, Robin tells me she’s packing her laptop up and that we were having her last conversation in Trinidad at that moment. I was fine right up until then. I don’t know what happened. I felt like I did on the last day of school — Friday, when Mai had to drag me to the girl’s bathroom for me to stop crying, and I felt like I did back when Lanora left. I can’t understand it — how does it even work? How can an ever-present force in your life just vanish? Not completely, of course — I’ll stay in touch with those who leave, but still. I was walking to the mall the other day and I glanced at my English teacher’s — Mrs. Chesler’s — house, wondering if she was home, or if her kids were around. And the only thing there was an empty house with a red sign on it, saying “For Rent.”
After sobbing my eyes out after Robin’s departure off the IM Client, I clung onto Ed and Mai, who both morally supported me. Ed’s advice was the same which I gave to him back when Tyler left — the almighty “fertilizer” metaphor (in a nutshell: “it feels like shit, but it’ll definitely help you grow”) — advice which I now have to, reluctantly, adopt for myself. His advice has that air of wisdom which he’s gained from his experiences with Tyler. It’s funny, because even though he said his goodbyes to Tyler a year ago, Tyler’s in his tv room right now, probably fast asleep. I can only hope I can say the same for Robin.
Mai’s advice came in the form of her belting out some lyrics (Motion City Soundtrack, I think?) and basically trying to cheer me up. Nic left before my little moment, sooo yeah. Still, he helped.
As for Risa… we haven’t met face-to-face yet, but she was all worried, so:

…she made me a sign. xD
There was a day back a few months ago when Robin, Ed and I just sat in my bathroom. We talked about everything — everything. During this time, Robin and I painted our nails — mine were a bright yellow, and hers were a deep blue. It’s something I’ll never forget. Tonight when she was leaving, Robin handed me a “present,” and she said that in honor of that little memory, she was giving me her entire nail polish collection. That alone’s enough to make me tear up.
But yeah. Thanks to all of those people who helped me out tonight, and who’ll keep on helping me. You’re all the best. I’ll help you as much as I can, too. And… we’ll just have to face the future as it comes. It won’t be easy, and life is a HUGE, UNFAIR BITCH, but at the end of the day… it’s all we have. So we better just take a deep breath and move on — crying when necessary, of course.

crunch-time.

It’s dawned upon us yet again — the week before exams. Possibly the only thing more grueling that taking the actual test… this week means “crunch time.” The amount of moodswings one undergoes in this lone week… it’s crazy.
First, we have the “denial” stage. As in, “I have one week left before the exam. One week is plenty of time.” Then comes the “paranoia” stage. See also: “BLOODY HELL ONE WEEK = 7 DAYS I HAVE 6 EXAMS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.” Unfortunately, this is usually accompanied by the first signs “lethargic” stage, in which you want to study but are completely unmotivated to do so, despite being scared shitless about failing everything. Once you’ve run the “paranoia” stage dry, the “lethargic” stage still lives on, developing into the “I do not give a rat’s ass” stage, in which… you don’t give a rat’s ass.
(Ironically, this stage also rears its head in on the night before the exam. I think that’s for the best, though. I mean, if it didn’t, I’d be up all night cramming.)
But eventually, you just suck it up and do what you have to do, whatever it may be. This may involve converting a casual gathering with your friends into a history study session of epic proportions, in which you compare the World Wars to simple childhood escapades on the playground. You can also sacrifice 4-6 hours of your “long weekend” to the demons of Biology. 30 pages typed up, so far — and that doesn’t even include Ecology, which we have yet to cover. (Also ironically: the Biology exam is on Monday. The first day of exams. …Why.)

But I guess I should cherish this week, despite the “stress” which comes along with it. Exams are like a wall, separating me from summer vacation, sims 3; from goodbyes and hellos, from hopping on a plane and zipping off to god-knows-where, armed with a camera, a bag of chips, and salsa which was stolen from Mai.

Yep, this is only the beginning.

It’s PROM.

It’s everything, it’s nothing; it’s a hell of a time, it’s a waste of time. Whatever you think of prom, there’s one thing that never changes: the anarchy which ensues during the week leading up to it.
Gossip flies around the high-school body.
“Did he ask her yet?”
“Are they going together?”
“OH MY GAHD HE ASKED HER INSTEAD OF MEEEEE”
“That man-whore!”
“That slut.”
“That poohead!”
And, of course, you’ll see the clusters of teen-aged girls prattling on and on and on about how incredibly awesome their dress is, how they intend to do their hair (apparently, it takes 2 hours to straighten one’s hair for prom. I don’t know. Those girls are bloody crazy), how they want their make-up done and such. In my high school, it’s also customary for the ENTIRE STUDENT BODY to bitch about prom during the weeks leading up to it. “It’s such a waste of time!” A girl was telling me. “I have better things to do than stand around in a damn dress.” It was this same girl who I heard going on with her friends about how she bought 4 dresses and couldn’t decide on which one she should wear, and OHMYGOD they should totally try on dresses together!…It’s amazing, it sounds so hypocritical and weird, but that’s how everyone in school is. Even though they complain about it, they all end up going anyway. Pshhh. And don’t get me started with the sheer amount of break-ups and get-togethers during this week. I’ve seen people randomly bursting into tears and having “emotional breakdowns” in Chemistry for no apparent reason. It’s tedious, and I try to avoid getting tangled up in it as if it were the plague.
Contrary to (somewhat) popular belief, I actually love prom…because I love dressing up. Prom is, therefore, an excuse to wear a pretty dress and make my hair all nice, to take some silly (and some serious) pictures, followed up by frolicking around and munching on the occasional hors d’œuvre. Despite my slight fondness for it, I’m usually horrifically unprepared for prom. Last year, I sorted out which dress I was wearing to prom on the same day as it. I kid you not. Other people had bought their outfits months before. Craziness.
I’ve improved a bit this year, though. …Okay, not a lot, but. I bought my dress today — Thursday. It’s bright red and fabulous. This is paired with black heels. Yup. …Prom’s on Saturday. Not too bad? Okay, it’s pretty bad, but eh, what’ll you do. I also got my shoes today, and my mother offered to cut my fringe for me so that I would be able to see once again. …I took her up on this offer, and while my bangs are a bit short now, they look decent and THE WORLD IS CLEAR.
Before that moment, I have a class trip, which I mentioned previously, I think? We’re heading off to watch turtles plop out eggs; it’s an overnight stay at some inn near the beach. I’m nervous for some odd reason — mainly because whenever I go hiking, I tend to fall in the oddest of places. But I’m sure I’m not the only klutz, so that’ll end up alright.

…I hope.

“Yep, I’m One of Those People.”

…One of those people who finds it absolutely necessary to name all of her technological possessions. Yep, that’s me. This post’s instigation was planted by madame Robin~ ♥

In my eyes, each of these “material objects” have a personality. From my sly, quick-witted pen-drive to my downright intimidating iPod — they all have their own quirks. Am I insane for picking said quirks up?…Let’s just call it fun. xDD

Well then, let’s begin~
Laptop: Licorice. Tall, pale, and pretty scruffy, Licorice (aka “Lico”) had a bad childhood experience and is scarred (by his power button, *sob*). As a result, he’s very self-concious. However, this doesn’t stop him from being a spazzy dork. He gets excited over small things, like paper or new games, and forgets to think before he talks. Sort of a pervert, too. Very lame, but very loveable. Flamingo (Robin’s laptop) is his long-term boyfriend~

(pink)iPod Nano: Bubblegum. Hyperactive, frivolous and cutesy. Bubblegum struts her stuff like crazy; if you go to a rave, there’s a 95% chance that she’ll be there — dressed the most outrageously and decked out in an uncountable number of glow sticks. Has tons of fun teasing Licorice, since he tends to freak out — she means well, though. Has a tiny build; squeaky yet adorable voice. You’ll either love her or hate her.

iPod Touch: Apocalypto. Grungy, vegan, and hardcore. He means business. Scares the living crap out of people, save for Licorice. Him and Licorice go way back: they relate to each other incredibly well, visiting each other often. He’s liberal and gutsy; the one who protects the group. The “big brother.”

Camera: Roosevelt. Total hippie. All about peace, love, and everything above. Sees the world differently from most. She’s a space cadet; very airy, very “out there.” Says random stuff which no one ever understands. She’s mildly infatuated by Apocalypto, but this is only due to his name (she develops strange fixations).

Microwave: Borris. The “uncle” of the group. He’s old, he’s rusty, but he gives damn good advice. Loving, warm, and nurturing. Lives away from the young folk, but they go out and see him from time to time.

Pen-Drive: Junes. Gets irritated when people pronounce her name as “June,” the month. (It’s pronouced Joo-nez, dammit!) Clever little lass. Only a kid, and she uses her youth to her advantage. Total smartypants and far more sly than most children her age, though she tends to skip school a lot. She prefers spending her time reading books out in the park. Hovers around Licorice constantly — she adores him because he gives her candy.

…This is the point where I consider making them a new Sims family. I just LOVE these guys. They’re my babies. xDD

Ah, youth.

When I was a kid, I loved toy trucks, sand boxes, swing sets, and mud puddles. I hung out with “the boys” and got into trouble constantly — I was unable to grasp the form of “authority,” and so I ran around rampant for my first 3 years in school.
I’ll never forget that day — about 10 years ago — when the cafeteria was selling those hot dogs. I loved them, but I couldn’t afford one. My friend, Alexa — one of my few female friends — couldn’t get one, either. Therefore, we devised a brilliant plan underneath the teacher’s desk. Some people left their food, unattended, on their desks. To “teach them a lesson”, the two of us nabbed the sausages from the hot dogs — since we really didn’t care for the smooshy, cheap bread — and crammed them in our mouths before anyone could take notice of our little devious deed.
Afterwards, we grabbed our rulers (they were our swords) and ran off to the school’s field, to play “Samurai X” with another one of my classmates — Joshua.
When the two girls returned to their desk to see the sausage-less hot dogs, they freaked out… but they never told a teacher (or if they did, the teacher brushed them off), so Alexa and I got away with it.

…Is it bad that, 10 years later, I still feel victorious?

Valentine’s Day.

A PEEK INTO THE LIFE OF JAMIE LAST NIGHT. OH, THE SCANDAL.

Also, I’ll have you know that how this picture got on my camera is a mystery.

Basically, Mai & I went to Robin’s place for a ~ladies’ night~. xD

BONUS. WHEN I GOT BACK HOME, I TOOK THIS:

and…

My pajamas. I have no clue why I am wearing eyeliner.

Oh, after we drank the milkshakes (which was Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate + Brownie flavour… mixed with ice and some milk), we turned up the stereo loud and busted out in wild dance moves.

Yeah, I’ll take this over a party anyday.

The Swan Song.

I go to an International school. I watch people come and go. Every year, every term, every semester. Some leave with a BANG, some mysteriously dissappear. Either way, I’ve experienced that moment in a class where I absent-mindedly turn around to see a once-occupied seat empty. It’s a feeling that’s a bit indescribeable; you wonder what the person’s doing, how they’re doing, or where they went in the first place. These thoughts and feelings have never shaken me to my core, though. I don’t emotionally attach myself to just anyone; I don’t do it for the status. (As a result, I haven’t experienced my first love as of yet. Call me silly, but I want that person to be… very, very special. But that’s another story altogether.)

Summer and Winter are always incredibly bittersweet. The last day of school — before the breaks — in particular. These are the days which I have to suck it up, grab a Sharpie and write a cheesey signature on a school uniform (which won’t ever be worn again). These are the days which I have to say my goodbyes.

I hate goodbyes.
They’re uncertain, and I hate uncertainty. I hate not knowing what to expect. I don’t like it when I can’t see the other side of the road; when I can’t see where a path leads. I don’t like making decisions, and I usually stay up late into the night, fretting. I can’t help it.

Today, I had to say 3 goodbyes.
One was to a good guy called Ben; I wasn’t close to him, however he’s an amazing guy and he’s definitely engraved in my memory. (Costa Rica, ’08. “Even bettah!” …No one except Robin and Edward will get that.) The other was also a guy. His name’s Henry. I don’t know how or when, but somewhere along the road, I got pretty damn close to him. My friends and I would (and still do) hang around during Lunch in Mrs. Chesler’s — our English teacher’s — room, and one day, Henry joined us. Eventually, this became routine, and soon Henry was just… part of the group. It’s going to be odd without him around.

The final, and probably the most painful, goodbye which I’ve said today would be the one to Lanora.
Lanora is my Aussie friend; she’s kickass and an incredibly irreplaceable person. I could sit here and write, for hours on end, about all which we’ve been through together. I could talk about the first all-nighter I ever pulled, I could talk about kangaroos, I could talk about boxes. I could talk about so many things. Too many things. I suppose that’s what made today such an impact.

This is the first time I’ve said “goodbye” to a best friend.
And let me tell you, it’s not fun.

I said “see you later” to a few friends back in my old school. However, this isn’t the same at all. I can still see my old friends if I wanted to… and I still do. This is the most uncertain “goodbye” I have ever said in my entire life. I don’t know when Lanora is going to be back here, in our group, or with me. I can’t call her up one day and casually tell her to drop on by the next day, so that we can go to the mall and get a drink or something. I can’t do that.

It doesn’t hit me until I see the first official “goodbyes”, exchanged between Lanora and my ex-History teacher 10 minutes after-school. “You’re gonna do good. You’re going to be fine,” he said to her, while the two gave each other one last hug. Her face was anything but fine, and upon seeing this, I felt the tears prick at my eyelids. By the time we were back in Mrs. Chesler’s room, I was pretty much in a mess.

The time following that was a bit of a blur.
People around me, the outside world, was sunny. Children were happily scampering around, laughing and cheering over the upcoming holidays. Robin, Lanora, Ed and I decided to go with Lanora to get her transcript, and then Robin and I walked out of school with her, the three of us still with tears streaming down our faces. (Edward dissappeared. I dunno.)
I don’t think I could even begin to describe what I felt when I was walking home. It was something pure, something simple; yet complex. If you touched me carelessly at that moment, I would have probably shattered into a million pieces with an almighty crash. I don’t know what Lanora was feeling then; it was probably somewhat like what I was feeling, yet at the same time very different. The entire thing is too complex for a human to understand, I think.
Whatever was going on in both our heads, we eventually met the point where we had to part; the fork in the road where I go one way and she goes another.
I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye.
I was crying, again, at this point, and I was searching for words to express what I was feeling. Too many emotions, not enough words. “Well, Nora,” I had said, trying to sound cheerful but failing miserably, “Have fun in Australia, yeah? I’ll see you again sometime.” Even when these words left my lips, the only thought going through my head was I might never see her again. We gave each other a final hug, a long hug, and she told me to never change and to watch Armaggedon a million times for her — both of which I plan on doing.
I had to tear myself away from her, and with vision blocked off by tears, I crossed the street (I jokingly said “jeez, I hope I don’t get run over!” as I was crossing) and went up to my house’s gate. I looked back one last time — at the girl who was always there, one of the very first in my core group of friends — and we gave each other one last wave. One last look, one last tearful smile before we leave things in the hands of fate. I tore my eyes away from her, dashing inside my house, not daring to look back. If I looked back, I don’t think I would have been able to stand for another second.

To leave behind or to be left behind… I wonder which hurts more.

The Time Capsule.

The Time Capsule

This is a meme which has been circulating around Livejournal, so I figured I’d bring it over here (if it hasn’t been brought already. OH WELL). Basically, the instructions are to write a letter to your future self — more specifically, yourself in one year. Save the link to the entry somewhere — or write down a little reminder on your calendar, just do something so that you’ll remember this small note. Friends can comment on this entry with any messages they’d like you to read after one year. ♥

Hihi Future!Jamie,
So, let’s see.. 2009, 2009, 2009.. you’re a junior now, aren’t you? Third year? ONE YEAR AWAY FROM BEING AN ALMIGHTY SENIOR. Or, technically, you’re almost halfway through juniour year! :D Are you keeping yourself in check? Grades are important! So. Stop slacking off, loser. Don’t answer to the expectations of anyone but yourself! In other words, no one but me. Unless they’re special. Or something. And also! Get off your lazy ass and write more! Remember you a year ago? You, with your millions of short stories which ACTUALLY HAD ENDINGS? What happened to those…? …Ah, endings…I remember endings… I hope you were able to finish that book which I started like… 2 days ago. I planned so much for it! Don’t let these efforts be for naught~! LAZINESS IS THE ENEMY HERE. And also. You better be taking a proper Art course, young lady. YOU HAVE TALENT, GURL. Take as much photos as you possibly can — and make sure you save every last one. On that note, you should also save your money and try not to depend on dear old mum and dad so much.
ALSO ahfjahf start being more active. Everyone else is working their ass off, and you? What are you doing? Playing video games until the break of dawn. Seriously, STOP PROCRASTINATING dsfnkdffg. It will come and bite you in the ass later, I swear. Though I’ll admit, your current self — me? I? myself? — has made a lot of progress in the Battle Against Procrastination. Make sure you don’t lose that battle!
And since you’re reading this, Jamie, you have to open up an email adressed to Lanora Feeney and Robin Jones Kerr. And type something in it. Anything. Include “quack,” that’s all I ask. OH DEAR GOD WHEN YOU’RE READING THIS LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH DIFFERENT FROM HOW IT IS NOW. Make sure you make new friends. Some interesting people are bound to come along. And don’t be too picky! First impressions aren’t everything!
I know I said to study hard, but DEAR GOD PLEASE DO NOT STRESS OUT. I hope you’re more relaxed than I am now. I swear, I am a work horse right now. Relax and take a break every now and then, it really does good. Don’t get too loose, though. Balance is key. In fact, I think the hardest part about life is that ability — being able to balance work with play. I sure as hell am struggling to do it. Don’t ever forget The Diving Bell and The Butterfly — if you have, I think you should go re-watch the DVD. Or re-read the book, since I’m pretty sure that you have it by now.
I am assuming you’re not sexually active, but. REMEMBER: NEVER USE VASELINE AS LUBRICANT. IT ONLY TAKES ONE DROP. D=! (As you were informed in a certain all-girls homeroom. I KNOW, IT’S ALL COMING BACK, ISN’T IT? :DD)
I hope that you’ve flattened the mountain of insecurities which I have piled up. PEOPLE ARE NOT THAT BAD. They’re not judging you even HALF as much as you think, so don’t get too paranoid. That being said, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE tell me that you didn’t cave in and become one of the crowd. Darling, whilst being a flamingo in a crowd of pidgeons comes with a shitload of self-concious-ness, it also makes you stand out like WOAH. And independance is key, my dear. Never forget that. If you’re not you, you might as well be nothing. I can only hope that you have the same fashion sense as I do right now. Or maybe an even better one?
Also, I hope you’re still buds with Edward and Mai and April. Make sure you talk to them a lot, okay? ANDAND DID YOU EVER MEET THE SCRUFFY HAIRED GUY?! Please tell me you did. <3 When you fall in love, make sure you follow your gut and don’t overthink things~
Finally, I just want to tell you to keep a unique outlook on life; never loose your artistic eye~ Smile and shrug off things, and try to be optimistic! Cherish every moment of life. Don’t forget to go on that roadtrip with Robin — THE X-PERIENCE (with no e, because we’re just so bad like that) — and make sure you hit up at least ONE Pride Parade.

Live life to the fullest, have no regrets! Treat yourself to something really calorific for me later. SOMETHING YUMMY.

KEEP IT FEE-YUHS.
♥ The 2008!Jamie~

We’re Almost There.

Like every other person, I frickin’ love it when that date rolls around on the calendar — the date that school (or work, for that matter) closes down for the holidays. Whether it be for Summer or Winter (it really doesn’t make a difference; a disadvantage for someone who resides in the Caribbean, though I suppose some people would think it’s an advantage), the anticipation of waiting for the countdown to shorten is a KILLER, and I can’t help but feel that as you grow older, you grow even more impatient. I have a tiny box on my sidebar of my laptop — a “Beacon Of Hope Box,” as I like to call it. This little glint of light in complete darkness counts down the days left until school closes. Right now, the date on it is set to the 12th of December, and it is victoriously declaring that there are “11 more days until Winter Break!”. Really, I just love that thing.

With me, you see, there is never a simple, boring vacation. I never complain about “being bored,” and whenever I see little kids whining over their boredom during summer break, it annoys me to no end. Last year, for example. Nights were not for sleeping — they were for either going out with friends or talking to friends. During school days, we tend to creep into our beds with dazed eyes at around 10 or 11 — even earlier in some cases — dreading “the early morning after”. During any vacation, nights are exciting and eventful. Going out to eat, or going to see a movie, at 2 in the afternoon isn’t nearly as thrilling as it is when done at 9 at night (or later, but let’s not go there). Everyone — even the people who suck at staying up late *coughRobincough* — gets a blast of energy. It’s amazing.

I remember one particular event during Summer… I think last year? Ed, Robin, Lanora, Tyler and I were going to go in one of those photobooths, to take coomemorative pictures. The thing was, the machine wasn’t working…no matter how many times we pressed the button to turn it on, it just wouldn’t respond. In a sudden burst of hyperactivity, I yelled out “DO ET ZE RUH-SHEE-AN WAY~!” (Armaggedon reference — Lanora would get it), and rammed a cleched fist against the selection keyboard. The screen turned on, and we all celebrated. I was in the midst of my “the Russian way ALWAYS works!” speech when the screen turned dark blue, resembling the “blue screen of death” which people get on laptops. A wall of Matrix-esque text appeared, urging to user to “Peform CTRL+X”, and the five of us dashed away before we were accused of sabotage.
(I didn’t break it. Really. It was… having a moment. Purely coincidencial.)
Ahem…
Naturally, there were tons more things which happened over Summer ’08 — too many to go over. I often find myself looking back on those days, yearning for the next time when Edward and I can have the infamous conversation…
Ed: No school tomorrow.
Me: Or the day after that.
Ed: Or the day after that.
Me: Or the day after that.
Ed: Or the day after that.
Me:Or the day after that.
…you get the idea.

So, until the 12th decides to joyously prance into the scene, I’m trying to keep myself here in the present –in the boring, paternal days — both physically and mentally. It’s a lot harder than it sounds, especially with the sudden onslaught of tests which has appeared on the battlefield which is High School. Still, I’m going to forge on, daydream here and there *coughcoughduringchemistrycough*, and try not to fall flat on my face right before the finish line. I can’t help but wonder, though — what are we going to sabotage this time around?

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