fetal position much?

August 26, 2009

so, it’s been a while since I last rambled on here. Truth be told, summer (after Toronto) was pretty much filled with simple relaxation time — stay up until 4 in the morning on msn with Ed, Risa, and/or Mai, sleep until 10:30, wake up, play Pokemon, possibly make plans with Ed (since he was virtually the ONLY PERSON in Trinidad apart from Nic, who apparently was infected with a mysterious disease), possibly go to the mall, POSSIBLY to all these generic, yet LOVELY, things.
August the 19th was my 15th birthday. I didn’t do much — just went for lunch with Ed and had a Pokemonfest — but my party-esque/hang out/thing is probably going to be on Saturday. Mai is going to spend the night, and we’ll marathon Season 1 of Skins. I’m really looking forward to it, because Skins is so amazingly lovely. Mai thinks I’m a hybrid of (mainly)Cassie and (some)Effy, and Mai is pretty much Sid’s female carbon-copy. The “Sid-Cassie Moments” we have are priceless.
That aside, Summer has come to a close, and school has started again. It all feels so completely alien to me. It’s hard to believe that this is going to become a routine again.

In a nutshell: yesterday was terrible. I spent the most of it feeling like puking my guts out, I’d look around and there would be no Robin and no Mrs Chesler. It was horrible. Luckily, Mr. Kaster got ahold of Mrs. Chesler’s room (sorry, dude, it’ll be forever known as that), and so we didn’t have to go on some epic stake-out to find a new cafeteria substitute. Also on a good note, my shitty homeroom luck evaporated COMPLETELY: I was put in a homeroom with Ed; Mr. Blackburn’s — he’s a witty, cynical man, but these are obviously positive traits to me; thus, he’s absolutely brilliant. (Today, though, Lentz pulled some strings and got Ed and I into his homeroom. SO, SCORE! Now Mai, Ed and Jamie are in ONE homeroom — no more “Jamie bumming around” like I did for the past…what, 2 years of high school? Hahaa.)
Anyway. back to the first day. AP Biology put me in the worst mood ever. Our teacher was OBVIOUSLY trying to psychologically scar us. And she did. She was saying how “the workload will CRUSH you if you’re not GENUINELY INTERESTED in Biology” and I was like “AW SHIT I’M NOT GENUINELY INTERESTED IN BIOLOGY ;A;” I’ll admit, I’m good at it, and I’m definitely going to consider it for senior year (…maybe), but. Jesus Christ, that was too much for me to handle — even in “baby steps.” Plus I’m doing two other AP Courses, including the really big AP World History — so what’s the point of mucking up all of them just so I can do well in a subject which I’ll most likely not even bother to pursue? I talked it out extensively with my mother and father — and I’ll admit, I was sobbing the ENTIRE time — and we decided it was best to just drop out of it and focus on what’s important to me *right now*. It’s not like AP Courses rule the world, as most over-achievers in high school tend to preach — they do them all, wear themselves out, then just wither away later on. I was talking to one of my friends who is a Biology Major in a university in England, and she was telling me that she didn’t even sign up for AP Biology and it didn’t effect her Uni Education in any way. I don’t think I should spend most of high school being dragged down by too much work than I can handle. I don’t care because that’s not why I go to school. Sure, I’ll gladly do the work, but I really just want to develop REAL skills which I’ll REALLY use in life — not just learn shit for the sake of learning shit. :| If that means I’m not destined for any GLORIOUSLY ACADEMICALLY WONDERFUL fate, then so be it… I’d rather be happy anyway.
But thinking about the future makes me feel like rubbish, since I honestly have no clue what to do, so I’ll stop with that.
Back to school — English seems okay; I don’t have Blackburn as my English teacher, but I have Mr. Deery. He seems ridiculously strict, but I think his bark is worse than his bite. Today’s class was pretty good — despite the fact that before it, I asked Ed “what do we have now?” and he said “English” and I was like “Oh, so we can just stay in Chesler’s room… wait… oh.” Either way, it seems like an interesting class, and I hope that things work out. Psychology was sort of “meh” yesterday, but I really enjoyed it today. It’s one of the few classes which Mai, Ed and I have together — and it’s SO relaxing, despite it being an AP course. The class seems like it has the potential to grow close together, as a Psychology class should be. And we all sit around and crack jokes while doing what must be done, so that’s always enjoyable.
A.P. World History is pretty good — but the class is GIGANTIC. Like, overly full. I don’t know half of the people in it. History is history, though, and I’m a history junkie. SO IT CAN’T BE *THAT* BAD, though the whole “Grouping DBQs” thing which we’re currently practicing confuses me a lot.
Ed and I finally ended up in a Math class together — Pre-Calculus. Our abilities are pretty much the same in math — in that we’re not mathematical geniuses but we understand certain. stuff. It’s pretty weird having Math in an *English* room, though. As long as no (dull) math posters are stuck all over those bright green boards, then I’ll be fine — though I doubt such a thing can be avoided. Or can it? MATH CAN BE FUN… maybe.
Spanish 4 is grossly under-populated. The teacher — who is at least 600 years old — decked herself out in a new *bright pink* wardrobe. I know, what. She was also oddly enthusiastic. I guess she thinks that because the class is so tiny we will just be all quiet and sweet. Tomorrow’s our first full class — I’m hoping it ends up being at least *a little* bit as cracky as it was in Spanish 3. If not, I will be disappointed. ):

Overall… not bad. But still suckish.
The whole ~AP Biology~ thing really hit me hard though, I’m not sure why. I guess that’s what they call “knowing your limits” or something. At least my parents agreed with me and didn’t force me to — if they did that, I’d just want to crawl under a rock and die.
If I wrote this entry last night, there would be a considerably greater amount of whining. Today, however, was a very good day, so yes… Maybe I’ll make it. Here’s to hoping that this year doesn’t suck that much. :3