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Ze Toronto Trip

DAY ONE.
We (Ed + myself) got to the airport at 7 in the morning, and we got on the plane at around 9. :D

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The movie showing on the plane was the HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE, I shit you not. Rather than burning my eyes out of their sockets, I played Pokemon Platinum for the wholeeee flight. I also listened to music and went into trance-like states. I’m not crazy. )8
Ed read his Harry Potter book and took blurry pictures. Eh heh hehh.
We also had a creepy old guy sitting next to us on the plane — well, next to Ed — and he pretty much dozed on Ed’s shoulder the *whole* way up.

We didn’t take any pictures on the first day, aside from a few random ones on the plane, but, oh god. it. was. funnn.
We ~surprised~ Mai at her apartment, since us visiting in Toronto = a birthday present from her parents to Mai. (Hence why I never mentioned it before) And even though she had her little suspicions (I KNOW WE SURPRISED YOU, DON’T GIVE ME THAT), she was still ecstatic. We were all bouncing off the walls, it was crazy. I was *shaking* with excitement. I’ll never forget it. Her mother picked us up from the airport, and when we arrived at the apartment complex, she left to get the video camera to record the "OMG WHAT R YOU DOING HURR GUYZ" moment. Ed and I had to stand in front of the elevator, *perfectly quiet* as to not alert Mai of our noisy presence, for 3 minutes. Every 10 seconds, I poked Ed in the shoulder and asked, "ED DUDE CAN WE GO YET." And Ed would push me and say, "NO WE STILL HAVE x SECONDS." We hopped around silently for the 3 minutes, then sprinted down the corridor once it was up. It was brilliant.

The rest of that day was spent parading all over Toronto like a bunch of druggies.
→ Ed, Mai and I went down to the lake, where we chillaxed for the entire afternoon.
→ Ed karate-chopped a fly, RIGHT IN HALF.
→ We ate tons of pizza AND sushi. I have a light appetite, so I didn’t eat too much, but Ed pretty much died afterwards, since he ate… a plate of sushi and 3 slices of pizza. Plus ice cream and a shiteload of drinks.
→ Robin arrived at 11 that night, Robin and Ed watched some pointless gory horror film which I was *strongly against*, as I HATE that sort of thing, whilst Mai and I watched some Skins. PRETTY FABULOUS. Afterwards, we all watched Knowing together, it was pretty good. |D But the ending was a little, uh, woah.

THAT WAS DAY ONE. ♥

Day 2 = Warped Tour. My very first, to be specific. It was pretty fabulous, I don’t have much to compare it to (since only a few worthwhile bands come to Trinidad, and the crowd is always terrible), but still. A BLAST.
AND I GOT INTO NO FIGHTS THIS TIME. GO ME.

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= Mai, reading out the list of artists we were gunna check out.
The majority of bands on the original lineup bailed out (;o;), but we ended up watching tons. UNFORTUNATELY, we did not get to see Jeffrey Star. DO NOT JUDGE ME, I WANTED TO SEE HIM. oh well…

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After The Devil Wears Prada, we checked out 3OH!3. o3o I don’t like them that much, but it was fuuunnn. Please observe mohawk guy #345961 and his bright pink ears

CUE PICSPAM OF WARPED

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ahahaaa
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STORY TIME.
Mai smooshed her diet coke, and then Ed put it next to his. Then everyone was like, "it’s so TINY. omg it’s JAMIE!" And they lined up all the drinks. The other coke is mai and the water is Ed. I have dubbed Robin as the miscellaneous pouch in the corner, because she IS ALWAYS LAYING DOWN.

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idk what she was trying to do
ed and robin xD
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Robin, myself, and Mai. We were waiting for Antiflag to come on o3o
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And they… were epic. I WISH we rushed into that crowd, but we had really awesome seats on some miscellaneous railing, so w/e. THEY PLAYED A SONG BY THE CLASH. )8 We all sang along (badly), but eh. 8D
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We went for cotton candy afterwards.
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facial…hair…?
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blue lips :D

After that, we left.
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Mai took some other exit, so we ended up having a fence splitting us apart. We made a big commotion out of this, naturally.

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Mai’s mother was going to pick us up due to our lack of having a car, but uh. Something came up, and so, we were stranded by the highway for a good while. Like, 2 hours maybe?
oh, and that’s me kicking something impressively as ed "tsk tsk"s.

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IT WAS HERE, we were stranded just across the street (and a little up) from here. xD;;

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See? always laying down.
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Mai had to pee, so we bugged a security guard to let us into this weird theater-esque building to use the loo, rather than the fire hydrant.

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This is what I do when I’m bored

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I bought shades at a miscellaneous booth at Warped. :>

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I annoyed Mai by taking this picture, plus other variations of it
BUT IT’S SO CUTE

We went to the Hard Rock cafe afterwards…
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I could not tear my eyes away from this bass. IT’S SO EPIC OMG. ;;

THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH DAY 2. Warped and Hard Rock, and later that night, we went back to the lake (pictures are after Day 3, I explained why there) and when we got back we all watched Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist ♥! It was sososo good. ;; I bought the DVD later on. o3o

Mai and I went for a midnight stroll afterwards, walking Ed back to his hotel, in our pajamas. It was sort of cold, but eh. As we wandered, we saw a gay couple holding hands, they looked like they were 20 or 21? Anyway, we decided to stalk them because we were creepy and hyper, so we did for a while. Idiocy aside, it was really cute. In Trinidad, no one does that sort of thing, since everyone here = homophobic. So if anyone did, they’d probably get hell for it. Or hurt, which would be even worse. It’s a shame, and it pisses me off, but who cares; 2 more years and I’m *hopefully* out of here.

NOW, DAY 3.
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walking…

also, we’re wearing our OMGMATCHING Warped shirts (it was unplanned, I SWEAR. and mine was "Small," but SO BIG FOR ME LOL.)
people kept coming up to us and asking how the Tour was. This included a scruffy hobo holding up a sign saying "money for weed."

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also known as "heaven on earth." or something close to it.
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more walking
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AND SHOPPING.
Mai danced dirtily with that for a while. Ed got some stuff, and I bought 3 shirts and some more bracelets. o3o Robin bought 2 shirts, I think.
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effective advertising |Db
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olol
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We splurged at a candy parlor, then saw "God’s Garden." Of course, we *had* to go bum around in there. )8
God’s garden is littered with cigarettes, btw.
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From behind, this statue looks like a very saggy… man-part. We were behind it, and we kept speculating on what it * actually was*. Ed was the one who got up and investigated. He took a picture to show us, because we were too lazy to move.
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Robin’s white thighs… xDD
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Mai dozing
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This was actually not posed at all
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FAIL ON WHEELS. Robin = gopher, Jamie = chipmunk
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"EEEEDDD STOP TAKING PICTURES OF MEEEE D<"
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My "bling," according to Ed

Later on, we went to see a Shakespeare play in some random park. We got lost 5 times on the way, and we took no pictures during it. It was pretty good, though♥ Afterwards, we were all fkgdfkghyper like woah, so, uh.

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We wrapped Ed up in a blanket, he began calling himself "Voldemort" and screaming "EXPELLEARMUS" like a crazy person, and we all. guffawed. So hard. People stared. They stared a lot. )8
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d’aw
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possibly the most geeky picture of the entire trip…
…ed fell over after that one 8D;; We all went crashing down.

Okay, this is where the timeline breaks. We went to this lake every night throughout the entire trip, so it’s impossible to tell which lake-picture was taken on which day.
SO I’LL JUST LUMP IT ALL TOGETHER. xD

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We took Voldemort!blanket with us… this was the night of the Shakespeare play
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Robin is *still* laying down
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I hate flash. xDD DEER IN HEADLIGHTS

We were stalked by a strange man during our second lake-visit. He sat under a tree, straight behind us, for the entire time we were there, just staring. it was sort of creepy, but we didn’t care. 8D;;
We had more “DRUNK ON LIFE~!” fun there. People must’ve thought we were total nutters or something. xDD

OKAY, BACK ONTO THE TIMELINE.

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After the Shakespeare-Lake-Night (wow, what a title), we went back to the apartment at 11:30, and I was hungry, so I bought a hotdog from a stand which was SOMEHOW still open. We called it the ~midnight hotdog~. It was delicious. ♥

FINAL DAAAY.
We went to Ontario Place.
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We ate lunch and sat by the… rocks next to some body of water.
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Robin kept dropping her fries, and so this seagull kept attacking us for them. Ed declared it “his mortal enemy” and engaged in several brawls with it.
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I-I WAS EATING, AND ED WAS ANNOYING ME FOR PICTURES, SO I WAS ABOUT TO TELL HIM OFF. but it was too late, and this picture is the result, lmao
To make matters worse, he stole my fries afterwards

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We were stranded (again) in some other area next to the parking lot for an hour. IT WAS FUN, not as fun as the one at Warped, but still fun.

Anyway, we didn’t take any pictures after this, because Robin left the day after and Ed and I went to my Uncle’s house, but.

The day after
→ we said bye to Robin
→ got sniffly in the car
→ played with cheap, noise-making McDonald happy-meal toys
→ Mai, Ed and I went to my Uncle’s.
→ We saw a run-over squirrel in the road, which we wept for.
→ I got my ~LG ICE CREAM~ — my new phone — and dear god, it’s sexy.
→ Said “TTYL” to Mai~

And the day after *that*, Ed and I went shopping for a bit, where I got a pile of CDs and Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness…
And then we went on the plane at midnight and came home~

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, THE TRIP.
All in all, it was epic.
It just had so much ~freedom~ and. God. It was so much fun.
There’s so much I can’t include, because half of the brilliance was just us being stupid, but still. EPIC. ♥
I’ll never forget it; when THE CORE went to Canada. What a way to start off Summer!

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Untitled.

June 30, 2009

Tonight was strange.
I was happy and free and very hyper earlier tonight, hanging around in Ruby Tuesday’s with Ed, Robin, and Tyler (Tyler’s visiting from the US). We made silly jokes (like a BOSS) and had an all-around good time. I said my “goodbyes” to Robin, I felt perfectly fine. I had some emotional conversations on MSN, and at 12:30, Robin tells me she’s packing her laptop up and that we were having her last conversation in Trinidad at that moment. I was fine right up until then. I don’t know what happened. I felt like I did on the last day of school — Friday, when Mai had to drag me to the girl’s bathroom for me to stop crying, and I felt like I did back when Lanora left. I can’t understand it — how does it even work? How can an ever-present force in your life just vanish? Not completely, of course — I’ll stay in touch with those who leave, but still. I was walking to the mall the other day and I glanced at my English teacher’s — Mrs. Chesler’s — house, wondering if she was home, or if her kids were around. And the only thing there was an empty house with a red sign on it, saying “For Rent.”
After sobbing my eyes out after Robin’s departure off the IM Client, I clung onto Ed and Mai, who both morally supported me. Ed’s advice was the same which I gave to him back when Tyler left — the almighty “fertilizer” metaphor (in a nutshell: “it feels like shit, but it’ll definitely help you grow”) — advice which I now have to, reluctantly, adopt for myself. His advice has that air of wisdom which he’s gained from his experiences with Tyler. It’s funny, because even though he said his goodbyes to Tyler a year ago, Tyler’s in his tv room right now, probably fast asleep. I can only hope I can say the same for Robin.
Mai’s advice came in the form of her belting out some lyrics (Motion City Soundtrack, I think?) and basically trying to cheer me up. Nic left before my little moment, sooo yeah. Still, he helped.
As for Risa… we haven’t met face-to-face yet, but she was all worried, so:
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…she made me a sign. xD
There was a day back a few months ago when Robin, Ed and I just sat in my bathroom. We talked about everything — everything. During this time, Robin and I painted our nails — mine were a bright yellow, and hers were a deep blue. It’s something I’ll never forget. Tonight when she was leaving, Robin handed me a “present,” and she said that in honor of that little memory, she was giving me her entire nail polish collection. That alone’s enough to make me tear up.
But yeah. Thanks to all of those people who helped me out tonight, and who’ll keep on helping me. You’re all the best. I’ll help you as much as I can, too. And… we’ll just have to face the future as it comes. It won’t be easy, and life is a HUGE, UNFAIR BITCH, but at the end of the day… it’s all we have. So we better just take a deep breath and move on — crying when necessary, of course.

The Swan Song.

December 13, 2008

I go to an International school. I watch people come and go. Every year, every term, every semester. Some leave with a BANG, some mysteriously dissappear. Either way, I’ve experienced that moment in a class where I absent-mindedly turn around to see a once-occupied seat empty. It’s a feeling that’s a bit indescribeable; you wonder what the person’s doing, how they’re doing, or where they went in the first place. These thoughts and feelings have never shaken me to my core, though. I don’t emotionally attach myself to just anyone; I don’t do it for the status. (As a result, I haven’t experienced my first love as of yet. Call me silly, but I want that person to be… very, very special. But that’s another story altogether.)

Summer and Winter are always incredibly bittersweet. The last day of school — before the breaks — in particular. These are the days which I have to suck it up, grab a Sharpie and write a cheesey signature on a school uniform (which won’t ever be worn again). These are the days which I have to say my goodbyes.

I hate goodbyes.
They’re uncertain, and I hate uncertainty. I hate not knowing what to expect. I don’t like it when I can’t see the other side of the road; when I can’t see where a path leads. I don’t like making decisions, and I usually stay up late into the night, fretting. I can’t help it.

Today, I had to say 3 goodbyes.
One was to a good guy called Ben; I wasn’t close to him, however he’s an amazing guy and he’s definitely engraved in my memory. (Costa Rica, ’08. “Even bettah!” …No one except Robin and Edward will get that.) The other was also a guy. His name’s Henry. I don’t know how or when, but somewhere along the road, I got pretty damn close to him. My friends and I would (and still do) hang around during Lunch in Mrs. Chesler’s — our English teacher’s — room, and one day, Henry joined us. Eventually, this became routine, and soon Henry was just… part of the group. It’s going to be odd without him around.

The final, and probably the most painful, goodbye which I’ve said today would be the one to Lanora.
Lanora is my Aussie friend; she’s kickass and an incredibly irreplaceable person. I could sit here and write, for hours on end, about all which we’ve been through together. I could talk about the first all-nighter I ever pulled, I could talk about kangaroos, I could talk about boxes. I could talk about so many things. Too many things. I suppose that’s what made today such an impact.

This is the first time I’ve said “goodbye” to a best friend.
And let me tell you, it’s not fun.

I said “see you later” to a few friends back in my old school. However, this isn’t the same at all. I can still see my old friends if I wanted to… and I still do. This is the most uncertain “goodbye” I have ever said in my entire life. I don’t know when Lanora is going to be back here, in our group, or with me. I can’t call her up one day and casually tell her to drop on by the next day, so that we can go to the mall and get a drink or something. I can’t do that.

It doesn’t hit me until I see the first official “goodbyes”, exchanged between Lanora and my ex-History teacher 10 minutes after-school. “You’re gonna do good. You’re going to be fine,” he said to her, while the two gave each other one last hug. Her face was anything but fine, and upon seeing this, I felt the tears prick at my eyelids. By the time we were back in Mrs. Chesler’s room, I was pretty much in a mess.

The time following that was a bit of a blur.
People around me, the outside world, was sunny. Children were happily scampering around, laughing and cheering over the upcoming holidays. Robin, Lanora, Ed and I decided to go with Lanora to get her transcript, and then Robin and I walked out of school with her, the three of us still with tears streaming down our faces. (Edward dissappeared. I dunno.)
I don’t think I could even begin to describe what I felt when I was walking home. It was something pure, something simple; yet complex. If you touched me carelessly at that moment, I would have probably shattered into a million pieces with an almighty crash. I don’t know what Lanora was feeling then; it was probably somewhat like what I was feeling, yet at the same time very different. The entire thing is too complex for a human to understand, I think.
Whatever was going on in both our heads, we eventually met the point where we had to part; the fork in the road where I go one way and she goes another.
I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye.
I was crying, again, at this point, and I was searching for words to express what I was feeling. Too many emotions, not enough words. “Well, Nora,” I had said, trying to sound cheerful but failing miserably, “Have fun in Australia, yeah? I’ll see you again sometime.” Even when these words left my lips, the only thought going through my head was I might never see her again. We gave each other a final hug, a long hug, and she told me to never change and to watch Armaggedon a million times for her — both of which I plan on doing.
I had to tear myself away from her, and with vision blocked off by tears, I crossed the street (I jokingly said “jeez, I hope I don’t get run over!” as I was crossing) and went up to my house’s gate. I looked back one last time — at the girl who was always there, one of the very first in my core group of friends — and we gave each other one last wave. One last look, one last tearful smile before we leave things in the hands of fate. I tore my eyes away from her, dashing inside my house, not daring to look back. If I looked back, I don’t think I would have been able to stand for another second.

To leave behind or to be left behind… I wonder which hurts more.

Not alone.

November 21, 2008

Growing up, I was never the girly-girl.
I never wanted to paint my nails shimmery, light pink, and I never wanted to get the new limited-edition Barbie, which just so happened to come along with a horribly tacky “tiara” which was decorated with a few cheap rhinestones.
I can vaguely remember myself, age 7, talking to one of the “popular girls” at school. Charlotte was her name, I think. “If you want,” she told me, whilst flicking her soft light-brown hair back in a very stand-offish way, “you can hang around with us at lunch today.”
Us referred to the ‘popular grrlz’ back then. My memory is horrible — I honestly can’t remember who the group consisted of. However, I do remember not being the slightest bit interested. “Sorry!” I chirped in response. “I’m going to play Samurai X with Joshua in the field today!”
(We used rulers as swords. It was the most fun thing EVER.)
My childhood consisted of bruises and band-aids. I loved to roll around in the mud and I dreamed of climbing a tree so high that I could eat the clouds (yes, I’m serious). I also went through a very *unique* stage, of which I was obsessed with being a vampire.
Things haven’t changed much since back then.
I’m a lot less tomboy-ish (mind you, I can barely resist the urge to jump straight into a miscellaneous puddle of mud on some days), but I honestly can’t see why people would want to conform themselves to be… like everyone else. I’ll hear about the current trends — things like reading Gossip Girl, Twilight, all of that sort of thing — and I’ll just raise an eyebrow and plug my iPod headphones back in. Whilst people are getting wasted, I’m home talking to my friends online or over the phone.
When people are “dancing” at parties to the beat of the new Akon hit, I’m in my bedroom blasting electronica and pop punk, jumping on my bed and generally thrashing the place (hey, I need to have some fun, too).
The point is, I’ve never even been aware of the prescence of “peer pressure” or “expectations.” I go out there, I do my own thing, and I have a hell of a time doing it. It’s the way to live. I don’t like to talk excessively. I don’t like having people follow me… which is probably why I love to hang around unique individuals.
Robin, Edward, Nora, Mai… they’re the ones who I can be found with on a day-to-day basis. April is my homegurrrl in Canada. Megan’s in the U.S. Ash-chan is in Trinidad; however, she’s in the school which I transferred out of 2 years ago. (We still talk a lot.) They’re many more who I can talk about — but it would take forever, and I doubt anyone would like to sit down and read this for the rest of their lifetime. xD But anyway… they’re all different from me, in many different ways. Yet, simultaneously, we’re exactly the same. I guess you could say that we’re all strangely compatible with each other. They complete me — fo realz.
They don’t necessarily understand me — though I’d like to believe that they do — but, they accept me. And my odd tendencies. In my old school, if word got out that I was a hardcore liberal, I’d be immediately dubbed as some type of freak. I guess the fact that it’s a really “conservative” school plays a key role in that, and we *were* a lot younger, but anyway…
I now wear my beliefs and opinions right on my forehead (figuratively speaking). I don’t impose them on anyone, but if someone starts bashin’, I start thrashin’. I’m withdrawn but not exactly shy, I’m quiet but not very delicate (okay, maybe sometimes I’m a *little* emotional. Whatever.) I am a bundle of contradictions — and I have people around me who, knowing that, still accept me. I’m pretty damn stoked about it, if I do say so myself.
Now, as you can see, I’m rambling on and on, so I probably should stop. I supposed the best thing in this world is having knowledge that you are not alone. I hope that everyone can have that knowledge — even if it’s only concerning one person.