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Ze Toronto Trip

DAY ONE.
We (Ed + myself) got to the airport at 7 in the morning, and we got on the plane at around 9. :D

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The movie showing on the plane was the HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE, I shit you not. Rather than burning my eyes out of their sockets, I played Pokemon Platinum for the wholeeee flight. I also listened to music and went into trance-like states. I’m not crazy. )8
Ed read his Harry Potter book and took blurry pictures. Eh heh hehh.
We also had a creepy old guy sitting next to us on the plane — well, next to Ed — and he pretty much dozed on Ed’s shoulder the *whole* way up.

We didn’t take any pictures on the first day, aside from a few random ones on the plane, but, oh god. it. was. funnn.
We ~surprised~ Mai at her apartment, since us visiting in Toronto = a birthday present from her parents to Mai. (Hence why I never mentioned it before) And even though she had her little suspicions (I KNOW WE SURPRISED YOU, DON’T GIVE ME THAT), she was still ecstatic. We were all bouncing off the walls, it was crazy. I was *shaking* with excitement. I’ll never forget it. Her mother picked us up from the airport, and when we arrived at the apartment complex, she left to get the video camera to record the "OMG WHAT R YOU DOING HURR GUYZ" moment. Ed and I had to stand in front of the elevator, *perfectly quiet* as to not alert Mai of our noisy presence, for 3 minutes. Every 10 seconds, I poked Ed in the shoulder and asked, "ED DUDE CAN WE GO YET." And Ed would push me and say, "NO WE STILL HAVE x SECONDS." We hopped around silently for the 3 minutes, then sprinted down the corridor once it was up. It was brilliant.

The rest of that day was spent parading all over Toronto like a bunch of druggies.
→ Ed, Mai and I went down to the lake, where we chillaxed for the entire afternoon.
→ Ed karate-chopped a fly, RIGHT IN HALF.
→ We ate tons of pizza AND sushi. I have a light appetite, so I didn’t eat too much, but Ed pretty much died afterwards, since he ate… a plate of sushi and 3 slices of pizza. Plus ice cream and a shiteload of drinks.
→ Robin arrived at 11 that night, Robin and Ed watched some pointless gory horror film which I was *strongly against*, as I HATE that sort of thing, whilst Mai and I watched some Skins. PRETTY FABULOUS. Afterwards, we all watched Knowing together, it was pretty good. |D But the ending was a little, uh, woah.

THAT WAS DAY ONE. ♥

Day 2 = Warped Tour. My very first, to be specific. It was pretty fabulous, I don’t have much to compare it to (since only a few worthwhile bands come to Trinidad, and the crowd is always terrible), but still. A BLAST.
AND I GOT INTO NO FIGHTS THIS TIME. GO ME.

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= Mai, reading out the list of artists we were gunna check out.
The majority of bands on the original lineup bailed out (;o;), but we ended up watching tons. UNFORTUNATELY, we did not get to see Jeffrey Star. DO NOT JUDGE ME, I WANTED TO SEE HIM. oh well…

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After The Devil Wears Prada, we checked out 3OH!3. o3o I don’t like them that much, but it was fuuunnn. Please observe mohawk guy #345961 and his bright pink ears

CUE PICSPAM OF WARPED

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ahahaaa
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STORY TIME.
Mai smooshed her diet coke, and then Ed put it next to his. Then everyone was like, "it’s so TINY. omg it’s JAMIE!" And they lined up all the drinks. The other coke is mai and the water is Ed. I have dubbed Robin as the miscellaneous pouch in the corner, because she IS ALWAYS LAYING DOWN.

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idk what she was trying to do
ed and robin xD
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Robin, myself, and Mai. We were waiting for Antiflag to come on o3o
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And they… were epic. I WISH we rushed into that crowd, but we had really awesome seats on some miscellaneous railing, so w/e. THEY PLAYED A SONG BY THE CLASH. )8 We all sang along (badly), but eh. 8D
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We went for cotton candy afterwards.
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facial…hair…?
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blue lips :D

After that, we left.
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Mai took some other exit, so we ended up having a fence splitting us apart. We made a big commotion out of this, naturally.

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Mai’s mother was going to pick us up due to our lack of having a car, but uh. Something came up, and so, we were stranded by the highway for a good while. Like, 2 hours maybe?
oh, and that’s me kicking something impressively as ed "tsk tsk"s.

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IT WAS HERE, we were stranded just across the street (and a little up) from here. xD;;

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See? always laying down.
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Mai had to pee, so we bugged a security guard to let us into this weird theater-esque building to use the loo, rather than the fire hydrant.

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This is what I do when I’m bored

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I bought shades at a miscellaneous booth at Warped. :>

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I annoyed Mai by taking this picture, plus other variations of it
BUT IT’S SO CUTE

We went to the Hard Rock cafe afterwards…
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I could not tear my eyes away from this bass. IT’S SO EPIC OMG. ;;

THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH DAY 2. Warped and Hard Rock, and later that night, we went back to the lake (pictures are after Day 3, I explained why there) and when we got back we all watched Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist ♥! It was sososo good. ;; I bought the DVD later on. o3o

Mai and I went for a midnight stroll afterwards, walking Ed back to his hotel, in our pajamas. It was sort of cold, but eh. As we wandered, we saw a gay couple holding hands, they looked like they were 20 or 21? Anyway, we decided to stalk them because we were creepy and hyper, so we did for a while. Idiocy aside, it was really cute. In Trinidad, no one does that sort of thing, since everyone here = homophobic. So if anyone did, they’d probably get hell for it. Or hurt, which would be even worse. It’s a shame, and it pisses me off, but who cares; 2 more years and I’m *hopefully* out of here.

NOW, DAY 3.
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walking…

also, we’re wearing our OMGMATCHING Warped shirts (it was unplanned, I SWEAR. and mine was "Small," but SO BIG FOR ME LOL.)
people kept coming up to us and asking how the Tour was. This included a scruffy hobo holding up a sign saying "money for weed."

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also known as "heaven on earth." or something close to it.
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more walking
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AND SHOPPING.
Mai danced dirtily with that for a while. Ed got some stuff, and I bought 3 shirts and some more bracelets. o3o Robin bought 2 shirts, I think.
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effective advertising |Db
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olol
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We splurged at a candy parlor, then saw "God’s Garden." Of course, we *had* to go bum around in there. )8
God’s garden is littered with cigarettes, btw.
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From behind, this statue looks like a very saggy… man-part. We were behind it, and we kept speculating on what it * actually was*. Ed was the one who got up and investigated. He took a picture to show us, because we were too lazy to move.
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Robin’s white thighs… xDD
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Mai dozing
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This was actually not posed at all
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FAIL ON WHEELS. Robin = gopher, Jamie = chipmunk
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"EEEEDDD STOP TAKING PICTURES OF MEEEE D<"
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My "bling," according to Ed

Later on, we went to see a Shakespeare play in some random park. We got lost 5 times on the way, and we took no pictures during it. It was pretty good, though♥ Afterwards, we were all fkgdfkghyper like woah, so, uh.

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We wrapped Ed up in a blanket, he began calling himself "Voldemort" and screaming "EXPELLEARMUS" like a crazy person, and we all. guffawed. So hard. People stared. They stared a lot. )8
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d’aw
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possibly the most geeky picture of the entire trip…
…ed fell over after that one 8D;; We all went crashing down.

Okay, this is where the timeline breaks. We went to this lake every night throughout the entire trip, so it’s impossible to tell which lake-picture was taken on which day.
SO I’LL JUST LUMP IT ALL TOGETHER. xD

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We took Voldemort!blanket with us… this was the night of the Shakespeare play
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Robin is *still* laying down
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I hate flash. xDD DEER IN HEADLIGHTS

We were stalked by a strange man during our second lake-visit. He sat under a tree, straight behind us, for the entire time we were there, just staring. it was sort of creepy, but we didn’t care. 8D;;
We had more “DRUNK ON LIFE~!” fun there. People must’ve thought we were total nutters or something. xDD

OKAY, BACK ONTO THE TIMELINE.

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After the Shakespeare-Lake-Night (wow, what a title), we went back to the apartment at 11:30, and I was hungry, so I bought a hotdog from a stand which was SOMEHOW still open. We called it the ~midnight hotdog~. It was delicious. ♥

FINAL DAAAY.
We went to Ontario Place.
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We ate lunch and sat by the… rocks next to some body of water.
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Robin kept dropping her fries, and so this seagull kept attacking us for them. Ed declared it “his mortal enemy” and engaged in several brawls with it.
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I-I WAS EATING, AND ED WAS ANNOYING ME FOR PICTURES, SO I WAS ABOUT TO TELL HIM OFF. but it was too late, and this picture is the result, lmao
To make matters worse, he stole my fries afterwards

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We were stranded (again) in some other area next to the parking lot for an hour. IT WAS FUN, not as fun as the one at Warped, but still fun.

Anyway, we didn’t take any pictures after this, because Robin left the day after and Ed and I went to my Uncle’s house, but.

The day after
→ we said bye to Robin
→ got sniffly in the car
→ played with cheap, noise-making McDonald happy-meal toys
→ Mai, Ed and I went to my Uncle’s.
→ We saw a run-over squirrel in the road, which we wept for.
→ I got my ~LG ICE CREAM~ — my new phone — and dear god, it’s sexy.
→ Said “TTYL” to Mai~

And the day after *that*, Ed and I went shopping for a bit, where I got a pile of CDs and Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness…
And then we went on the plane at midnight and came home~

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, THE TRIP.
All in all, it was epic.
It just had so much ~freedom~ and. God. It was so much fun.
There’s so much I can’t include, because half of the brilliance was just us being stupid, but still. EPIC. ♥
I’ll never forget it; when THE CORE went to Canada. What a way to start off Summer!

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Untitled.

June 30, 2009

Tonight was strange.
I was happy and free and very hyper earlier tonight, hanging around in Ruby Tuesday’s with Ed, Robin, and Tyler (Tyler’s visiting from the US). We made silly jokes (like a BOSS) and had an all-around good time. I said my “goodbyes” to Robin, I felt perfectly fine. I had some emotional conversations on MSN, and at 12:30, Robin tells me she’s packing her laptop up and that we were having her last conversation in Trinidad at that moment. I was fine right up until then. I don’t know what happened. I felt like I did on the last day of school — Friday, when Mai had to drag me to the girl’s bathroom for me to stop crying, and I felt like I did back when Lanora left. I can’t understand it — how does it even work? How can an ever-present force in your life just vanish? Not completely, of course — I’ll stay in touch with those who leave, but still. I was walking to the mall the other day and I glanced at my English teacher’s — Mrs. Chesler’s — house, wondering if she was home, or if her kids were around. And the only thing there was an empty house with a red sign on it, saying “For Rent.”
After sobbing my eyes out after Robin’s departure off the IM Client, I clung onto Ed and Mai, who both morally supported me. Ed’s advice was the same which I gave to him back when Tyler left — the almighty “fertilizer” metaphor (in a nutshell: “it feels like shit, but it’ll definitely help you grow”) — advice which I now have to, reluctantly, adopt for myself. His advice has that air of wisdom which he’s gained from his experiences with Tyler. It’s funny, because even though he said his goodbyes to Tyler a year ago, Tyler’s in his tv room right now, probably fast asleep. I can only hope I can say the same for Robin.
Mai’s advice came in the form of her belting out some lyrics (Motion City Soundtrack, I think?) and basically trying to cheer me up. Nic left before my little moment, sooo yeah. Still, he helped.
As for Risa… we haven’t met face-to-face yet, but she was all worried, so:
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…she made me a sign. xD
There was a day back a few months ago when Robin, Ed and I just sat in my bathroom. We talked about everything — everything. During this time, Robin and I painted our nails — mine were a bright yellow, and hers were a deep blue. It’s something I’ll never forget. Tonight when she was leaving, Robin handed me a “present,” and she said that in honor of that little memory, she was giving me her entire nail polish collection. That alone’s enough to make me tear up.
But yeah. Thanks to all of those people who helped me out tonight, and who’ll keep on helping me. You’re all the best. I’ll help you as much as I can, too. And… we’ll just have to face the future as it comes. It won’t be easy, and life is a HUGE, UNFAIR BITCH, but at the end of the day… it’s all we have. So we better just take a deep breath and move on — crying when necessary, of course.

This post is epically long, but I guess it makes up for my lack of posting, right? xDD I’ve been meaning to write a Persona 4 review for a while. Sorry if it’s a bit redundant, and if you don’t want spoilers, you may not wanna read it. xDD

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The sixth in the Persona series by Atlus; Persona 4 can be described in one word: “epic.” If you know me personally, you know that from late January (January 27th) to early March (March 1st), I was inhaling this game as if it were a source of life. (Okay, maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggeration…)

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4 (ペルソナ4) was released in America in December, 2008. It had incredibly high expectations; since Persona 3 was a massive success. It’s a role-playing game; meaning that you have full control over who your character associates with, who they befriend, and who they generally ARE; i.e: the noble hero? The shy kid? The cynical ass who probably should actually be the antagonist but somehow isn’t? You also have control over who he dates, if anyone at all — where he works, what his name is, everything. You have semi-control over who your group is — 7 other people make up your “team,” (one being support-based, so you don’t battle with her) but you can only choose 3 whenever you take part in the actual gameplay.

But now I’m rambling~ So, I’ll give you a rough outline of Persona 4 — or really, what it’s about. xD

Persona 4 takes place in the fictional, rural Japanese town of Inaba. It has one high school, a lonely shopping district, one MASSIVE department store which you never really enter (save for the store’s foodcourt — it ends up becoming the group’s secret base of sorts xDD), and, of course, various housing areas and an inn. It lies among the floodplains, too. You’re character is a transfer student from the big city — upon arrival, you learn about “The Midnight Channel;” an urban legend which states that when you look at television on a rainy day at midnight, your soulmate will appear.
Naturally, this is all a bunch of crap — the Midnight Channel is actually an insight into “The Television World,” who’s origin I won’t tell because it’s a HUGE spoiler. If any common person looks at it, they can see the events going on inside of the Other World — however, they won’t be able to enter it, and (prior to the events in the game) are usually greeted with a technicolour screen.
Certain individuals, however, have the ability to reach into any television set and enter the Midnight Channel directly. These individuals have Personas — a powerful form of themselves, sort of like a weapon, which is “the facade used to overcome life’s troubles.” However, in order to enter, they must be able to fit through the set’s screen, or else they’ll just reach in and nothing’ll happen.

Each television set leads to a different area of the Midnight Channel. The weather conditions inside the Midnight Channel are the opposite of what exists in Inaba — a thick, nasty fog naturally exists in the Midnight Channel. Anyone who enters it without proper gear suffers from severe nausea and head pain, which results in a comatose state.
However, after a long period of rain, a thick fog sets in to Inaba — due to the ying-yang aspect which Inaba and The Midnight Channel have, this causes the fog in the Midnight Channel to disappear. Sounds like good news? Well, it isn’t — it’s HORRIBLE NEWS and just THINKING ABOUT IT is annoying me. Once the fog disappears in The Midnight Channel, the “Shadows” (sort of like the “monsters”) that reside in it get all hyper — they get stronger and are deadly. Anyone inside fog-less Midnight Channel has no hope in hell — they get killed by the Shadows. Instead of their corpse deteriorating, it is transported back to Inaba — dangling among telephone wires. CREEPY MUCH? One of the reasons why the game’s rated ~M~, I suppose.

Now, The Midnight Channel is pretty harmless — once no one messes with it. Normal people don’t have the ability to enter televisions — however, one guy gains this ability, and through tons of complex manipulation, he manages get normal people tossed into the Midnight Channel. Thus begins the GRAND MURDER MYSTERY, the base of the game — the ~investigation~.

Once you learn the basics about the Channel, you learn that people thrown into the Channel are killed by their “Shadows” — unlike the normal monsters dwelling the Channel, these “shadows” are the darkness which conceal people’s inner Persona. In other words — it’s like the darkness of your heart; the hidden part of yourself which you don’t want to reveal to anyone, the part which you put a facade over and reject. When saving victims who’re thrown into the Channel, you have to confront their Shadow-self. Afterwards, if the victim clears their head and accepts the Shadow as part of themself, the Shadow will purify and manifest itself as a Persona, thus granting the “vicitim” the ability to enter the T.V. world and kick ass. Oh, and you have to save them before the fog rolls in to Inaba — which is roughly once a month. If it rolls in BEFORE you save them, you’re given the option to either return to the title screen and continue from where you last saved, OR you can go back one week in time. Missing the deadline is BRUTAL, because most of the heavy training is done in the last week. Therefore, if the victim is killed, you’re taken back one week before the fog and must train all over again; this time managing your time more pro-actively.
Furthermore, the game has a total of 3 endings: One “Bad” Ending (the result of accusing the wrong culprit), One “Normal” Ending (people usually get this; it’s if you stick to the default storyline), and the ultimate “True” Ending, which is a bit more complex and features one extra dungeon which is BEAUTIFUL.

As for your character: You’ve just transferred to Inaba during this time of madness. While in Inaba, you stay with your uncle, Ryotaro Dojima, a police detective who’s usually out doing work due to the murder cases (little does he know that his work is for naught, seeing as the crimes are taking place in another world) and Dojima’s six-year old daughter, Nanako, who’s SO adorable and SO sweet, and has managed to take care of the household chores for her father.

Aside from the main storyline, you’re a normal high-school student. You DO have to pay attention to the random facts given out in class (talking to plants really does make them grow faster — also, moustaches excrete toxins), lest you totally bomb the midterm exams. You snag a part-time job and you can join a few clubs, too. You socialize with characters who aren’t directly related to the storyline, and you can “intensify” your relationship with them by talking to them regularly.

The key theme of Persona 4 is “facing yourself”; accepting you for who YOU really are; letting down your facades and revealing your true power. It’s also about “seeking the truth” — where the murder mystery comes in — but it also sort of overlaps with the first theme: seeking your true self. Thus, every character which you interact with in the game has a unique backstory, and if you choose to be close friends with them, you help them… come to terms with it. xD

Anyway, I guess I’ll talk about the characters now. Here’s where you’ll find the actual spoilers.

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Soji Seta ~ You. Your character. The MC (main character). You have total control over him, pretty much. I think I’ve said enough about him already. xDD He’s pretty cool. OH, DID I MENTION THAT HE’S A SILENT GUY? You choose anything and everything which he says. I ♥ Silent Protagonists. The MC doesn’t formally face himself as a Shadow — how he gets a Persona is a key point of the game.

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Yosuke Hanamura ~ Born and raised in the city, he recently moved to Inaba, where his parents manage the MASSIVE department store which puts in peril the local economy. As a result, he’s sort of unpopular and looked down upon by townsfolk. Clumsy, outgoing, and sort of stupid — but passionate and serious about the investigation. He’s a total sweetheart. You cannot hate Yosuke.
Yosuke’s Shadow isn’t that dramatized — it’s basically just said that it doesn’t give a crap about anyone or anything; that it was glad that people were dying because the investigation gives him something to do. Yosuke’s “dungeon” isn’t really a dungeon, either — it’s a thrashed shop in the Shopping District. This is prolly because he’s the first boss you encounter; it eases you into things.

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Chie Satonaka ~ Chie has the most vague background (or, at least, the most normal life) of the group, although we know she is passionate about Kung-Fu and martial arts. She’s Yukiko’s best friend; they’re always there for each other. She’s also a total tomboy. My personal opinion of Chie is sort of non-existent… she’s really just there for me; she doesn’t stand out that much… her voice, however, was REALLY good.
Chie’s shadow takes the form of some form of dominatrix; it’s a woman with a long, pointy hat, covering her face. It sits on a cloaked surface, like a chair, but under the cloak is a bunch of faceless schoolgirls, holding Shadow Chie up. It represents her jealousy of Yukiko’s feminine side and her talents, as well as her wish and need to maintain control over Yukiko. It also says that Chie truly doesn’t give a damn about Yukiko and that the only reason why she associates with her is so that she can stand out more. Chie’s dungeon is a sublevel of Yukiko’s, which further enhances what the Shadow’s saying.

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Yukiko Amagi ~ Yukiko is the daughter of an innkeeper — the Amagi Inn is the most popular area of Inaba. She’s quiet, calm, and apparently beautiful (I don’t see what’s so gorgeous about her, but I guess she has that ~special charm~), but she has insane laughing fits which tend to go on for hours. She’s a pretty alright character, though~
Yukiko’s Shadow takes the form of a massive, gaudy, pink bird, held in a cage. Before going into that mode, her shadow is dressed as if it were a Princess — with a pink and white dress and crown. Her dungeon is a pink castle. Yukiko’s Shadow is obsessed with “finding her prince” who’ll take her away from Inaba and her “destiny” — i.e: inheriting the Inn. Her shadow’s one of my favourites — its dialogue is AWESOME.

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Kanji Tatsumi ~ Son of the owners of Tatsumi Textiles, he harbors the street-punk style… although in truth, he only hurts those who deserve it (i.e: Biker Gangs who wake his mom up at night with their noisy engines and crude behaviour).
Kanji’s character is the most complex of all the group. Kanji’s actually gay; one of the very first uber-popular game characters to be out so openly. Despite his rough outer appearance, Kanji actually loves sewing, animal crackers, and cooking.
He grows “interested” in another one of the characters — Naoto Shirogane. However, this was before it was revealed that Naoto’s actually a girl cross-dressing as a boy — which results in Kanji questioning himself even more than before. Later on, though, Kanji comes to terms with the side of himself that was attracted to Naoto, snapping out of it and being able to act normally around her. If you choose to develop your character’s bond with him, Kanji later on admits that “his shadow really does resides in him,” which implies that he accepted his sexuality.
So, it’s kinda obvious that Kanji’s Shadow is a stereotypically gay man. His shadow’s true form is a huge, muscular creature, which looks like a massive body-builder. Out of it is Shadow Kanji’s normal self, which is surrounded by a heavy layer of pink flowers — thus representing Kanji’s struggle to “be a man” yet still true to himself. It also represents his resentment of having his softer side and his artistic abilities ridiculed, as well as his fears of being rejected by society. Kanji’s Midnight Channel dungeon is a men’s bathhouse (teeheehee).
FFFF KANJI’S MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER. I love him. As soon as I got him, he was in my party permanently. He’s kickass in battle, too. 8D

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Rise Kujikawa ~ Rise (aka “Risette”) is a former idol, who recently retired from the show business world due to stress and personal conflict. She moves to Inaba, where her grandmother owns a Tofu Shop; Marukyu Tofu. Rise’s cheerful and giggly — IMPOSSIBLE TO HATE. D8
Rise’s Shadow is a colorful pole dancer which looks like Rise; i.e. it has her brown pigtails. Her Midnight Channel dungeon resembles a strip club, including stages with poles, curtains, and sexual-looking Shadows. Rise’s shadow represents her anger with being stereotyped as an indecent, airheaded popstar, represented as a sex symbol . However, her true motive was a desire to find her real self-identity — which is pretty much the reason why she left show biz and moved into Inaba.

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Naoto Shirogane ~ Nao-chan is young, serious, and has an androgynous appearance; almost always wearing an officer’s cap, conveying an appearance not unlike the classical gakuran school uniforms of the late 19th century. A well-known detective and somewhat of a child prodigy, Naoto was dubbed the “Detective Prince” by the media, though still attending Yasogami High.
Naoto’s Shadow is a robotic doppelganger, equipped with large, toy-like laser guns, rocket feet and a jet pack. This form represents Naoto’s resentment towards being treated as a child by the police (since she’s a renowned detective). It reveals that Naoto is, in fact, a girl who’s pretending to be a boy in order to gain whatever scraps of respect she can from the police force.
Naoto’s Midnight Channel dungeon is a scientific military complex based on Japanese superhero shows for children, filled with mechanical shadows and falcon symbols.

and finally…
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Teddie ~ Teddie is a weird, yet ADORABLE, stuffed-bear-like creature with blue fur and a red/white jumpsuit. He lives in the Midnight Channel. He makes tons of horrible puns on the words “bear” and “teddy;” mostly on bear, though. (BEAR-SONA!, what a TEDious fight!, I’m the M.V.B!, I can’t BEAR this anymore! etc). He is often used as comic relief, and he really lightens up the entire party’s mood. Teddie’s human form later in the game is a young blond guy. He’s very innocent, and he usually makes a lot of “suggestive” comments without realizing that he really shouldn’t. xDD
Teddie’s Shadow is a larger form of his bear costume coming out of a hole in the ground, with portions of its face missing, revealing a void underneath, + it also has REALLY FREAKY EYES. It represents Teddie’s fear that his existence is superficial and “hollow”. The Shadow also hints at his forgotten true identity – that is, the fact that he is a shadow. He learned to speak human language and became friendly with humans, taking his bear-like form so that people would like him upon meeting him. Teddie eventually takes a human form upon acquiring a persona so that he can be with others in the real world~

AND THAT’S IT FOR THE (playable)CHARACTERS.

What I absolutely adore about P4 is the realism of things, the rawness of it. Chats teenagers would really have, playful bantering, situations that could really happen (even though there probably isn’t a Midnight Channel…this game will so make you believe that there is.), and realistic reactions to pretty much everything. It’s amazing. The voice-acting enhances this, of course. Perfect voice casting, I swear, PERFECT — save for MAYBE Yukiko, but eh, it works. xD Rise’s voice is my favourite, along with Kanji’s.
With great v.a comes awesome music, and Persona 4 also has this… thanks to Atlus’ Shoji Meguro~! The game comes with a free soundtrack, so you have access to all the songs without having to hunt the Internet. They follow a constant theme; electronica with classical undertones. Makes a horribly addictive combo. xDD (I’m actually listening to it now on my iPod, haha)

The gameplay in battles (LOL WOW I didn’t even mention this before xDD) is really awesome. It’s simple; turn-based tactics. Om nom nom. If you’re close enough to your party members, they’ll even take a mortal blow for you by jumping in the way of an enemy’s fatal attack. IT’S PRETTY AMAZING. + If you’re even closer, you get “bonus turns” where your bud will perform a special “critical hit” attack with a fancy name, like “Atomic Smash” or something. Really useful~

And that’s it for my “review”! I could really talk about it for ages, eh heh heh. P4 is a seriously dazzling game. It’ll catch you; hook, line and sinker. It restored my faith in good gaming, seriously. One of the best storylines which I’ve ever played. EVERRR. I highly recommend it! xD

Ah, youth.

March 12, 2009

When I was a kid, I loved toy trucks, sand boxes, swing sets, and mud puddles. I hung out with “the boys” and got into trouble constantly — I was unable to grasp the form of “authority,” and so I ran around rampant for my first 3 years in school.
I’ll never forget that day — about 10 years ago — when the cafeteria was selling those hot dogs. I loved them, but I couldn’t afford one. My friend, Alexa — one of my few female friends — couldn’t get one, either. Therefore, we devised a brilliant plan underneath the teacher’s desk. Some people left their food, unattended, on their desks. To “teach them a lesson”, the two of us nabbed the sausages from the hot dogs — since we really didn’t care for the smooshy, cheap bread — and crammed them in our mouths before anyone could take notice of our little devious deed.
Afterwards, we grabbed our rulers (they were our swords) and ran off to the school’s field, to play “Samurai X” with another one of my classmates — Joshua.
When the two girls returned to their desk to see the sausage-less hot dogs, they freaked out… but they never told a teacher (or if they did, the teacher brushed them off), so Alexa and I got away with it.

…Is it bad that, 10 years later, I still feel victorious?

The Swan Song.

December 13, 2008

I go to an International school. I watch people come and go. Every year, every term, every semester. Some leave with a BANG, some mysteriously dissappear. Either way, I’ve experienced that moment in a class where I absent-mindedly turn around to see a once-occupied seat empty. It’s a feeling that’s a bit indescribeable; you wonder what the person’s doing, how they’re doing, or where they went in the first place. These thoughts and feelings have never shaken me to my core, though. I don’t emotionally attach myself to just anyone; I don’t do it for the status. (As a result, I haven’t experienced my first love as of yet. Call me silly, but I want that person to be… very, very special. But that’s another story altogether.)

Summer and Winter are always incredibly bittersweet. The last day of school — before the breaks — in particular. These are the days which I have to suck it up, grab a Sharpie and write a cheesey signature on a school uniform (which won’t ever be worn again). These are the days which I have to say my goodbyes.

I hate goodbyes.
They’re uncertain, and I hate uncertainty. I hate not knowing what to expect. I don’t like it when I can’t see the other side of the road; when I can’t see where a path leads. I don’t like making decisions, and I usually stay up late into the night, fretting. I can’t help it.

Today, I had to say 3 goodbyes.
One was to a good guy called Ben; I wasn’t close to him, however he’s an amazing guy and he’s definitely engraved in my memory. (Costa Rica, ’08. “Even bettah!” …No one except Robin and Edward will get that.) The other was also a guy. His name’s Henry. I don’t know how or when, but somewhere along the road, I got pretty damn close to him. My friends and I would (and still do) hang around during Lunch in Mrs. Chesler’s — our English teacher’s — room, and one day, Henry joined us. Eventually, this became routine, and soon Henry was just… part of the group. It’s going to be odd without him around.

The final, and probably the most painful, goodbye which I’ve said today would be the one to Lanora.
Lanora is my Aussie friend; she’s kickass and an incredibly irreplaceable person. I could sit here and write, for hours on end, about all which we’ve been through together. I could talk about the first all-nighter I ever pulled, I could talk about kangaroos, I could talk about boxes. I could talk about so many things. Too many things. I suppose that’s what made today such an impact.

This is the first time I’ve said “goodbye” to a best friend.
And let me tell you, it’s not fun.

I said “see you later” to a few friends back in my old school. However, this isn’t the same at all. I can still see my old friends if I wanted to… and I still do. This is the most uncertain “goodbye” I have ever said in my entire life. I don’t know when Lanora is going to be back here, in our group, or with me. I can’t call her up one day and casually tell her to drop on by the next day, so that we can go to the mall and get a drink or something. I can’t do that.

It doesn’t hit me until I see the first official “goodbyes”, exchanged between Lanora and my ex-History teacher 10 minutes after-school. “You’re gonna do good. You’re going to be fine,” he said to her, while the two gave each other one last hug. Her face was anything but fine, and upon seeing this, I felt the tears prick at my eyelids. By the time we were back in Mrs. Chesler’s room, I was pretty much in a mess.

The time following that was a bit of a blur.
People around me, the outside world, was sunny. Children were happily scampering around, laughing and cheering over the upcoming holidays. Robin, Lanora, Ed and I decided to go with Lanora to get her transcript, and then Robin and I walked out of school with her, the three of us still with tears streaming down our faces. (Edward dissappeared. I dunno.)
I don’t think I could even begin to describe what I felt when I was walking home. It was something pure, something simple; yet complex. If you touched me carelessly at that moment, I would have probably shattered into a million pieces with an almighty crash. I don’t know what Lanora was feeling then; it was probably somewhat like what I was feeling, yet at the same time very different. The entire thing is too complex for a human to understand, I think.
Whatever was going on in both our heads, we eventually met the point where we had to part; the fork in the road where I go one way and she goes another.
I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye.
I was crying, again, at this point, and I was searching for words to express what I was feeling. Too many emotions, not enough words. “Well, Nora,” I had said, trying to sound cheerful but failing miserably, “Have fun in Australia, yeah? I’ll see you again sometime.” Even when these words left my lips, the only thought going through my head was I might never see her again. We gave each other a final hug, a long hug, and she told me to never change and to watch Armaggedon a million times for her — both of which I plan on doing.
I had to tear myself away from her, and with vision blocked off by tears, I crossed the street (I jokingly said “jeez, I hope I don’t get run over!” as I was crossing) and went up to my house’s gate. I looked back one last time — at the girl who was always there, one of the very first in my core group of friends — and we gave each other one last wave. One last look, one last tearful smile before we leave things in the hands of fate. I tore my eyes away from her, dashing inside my house, not daring to look back. If I looked back, I don’t think I would have been able to stand for another second.

To leave behind or to be left behind… I wonder which hurts more.

The Time Capsule.

December 10, 2008

The Time Capsule

This is a meme which has been circulating around Livejournal, so I figured I’d bring it over here (if it hasn’t been brought already. OH WELL). Basically, the instructions are to write a letter to your future self — more specifically, yourself in one year. Save the link to the entry somewhere — or write down a little reminder on your calendar, just do something so that you’ll remember this small note. Friends can comment on this entry with any messages they’d like you to read after one year. ♥

Hihi Future!Jamie,
So, let’s see.. 2009, 2009, 2009.. you’re a junior now, aren’t you? Third year? ONE YEAR AWAY FROM BEING AN ALMIGHTY SENIOR. Or, technically, you’re almost halfway through juniour year! :D Are you keeping yourself in check? Grades are important! So. Stop slacking off, loser. Don’t answer to the expectations of anyone but yourself! In other words, no one but me. Unless they’re special. Or something. And also! Get off your lazy ass and write more! Remember you a year ago? You, with your millions of short stories which ACTUALLY HAD ENDINGS? What happened to those…? …Ah, endings…I remember endings… I hope you were able to finish that book which I started like… 2 days ago. I planned so much for it! Don’t let these efforts be for naught~! LAZINESS IS THE ENEMY HERE. And also. You better be taking a proper Art course, young lady. YOU HAVE TALENT, GURL. Take as much photos as you possibly can — and make sure you save every last one. On that note, you should also save your money and try not to depend on dear old mum and dad so much.
ALSO ahfjahf start being more active. Everyone else is working their ass off, and you? What are you doing? Playing video games until the break of dawn. Seriously, STOP PROCRASTINATING dsfnkdffg. It will come and bite you in the ass later, I swear. Though I’ll admit, your current self — me? I? myself? — has made a lot of progress in the Battle Against Procrastination. Make sure you don’t lose that battle!
And since you’re reading this, Jamie, you have to open up an email adressed to Lanora Feeney and Robin Jones Kerr. And type something in it. Anything. Include “quack,” that’s all I ask. OH DEAR GOD WHEN YOU’RE READING THIS LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH DIFFERENT FROM HOW IT IS NOW. Make sure you make new friends. Some interesting people are bound to come along. And don’t be too picky! First impressions aren’t everything!
I know I said to study hard, but DEAR GOD PLEASE DO NOT STRESS OUT. I hope you’re more relaxed than I am now. I swear, I am a work horse right now. Relax and take a break every now and then, it really does good. Don’t get too loose, though. Balance is key. In fact, I think the hardest part about life is that ability — being able to balance work with play. I sure as hell am struggling to do it. Don’t ever forget The Diving Bell and The Butterfly — if you have, I think you should go re-watch the DVD. Or re-read the book, since I’m pretty sure that you have it by now.
I am assuming you’re not sexually active, but. REMEMBER: NEVER USE VASELINE AS LUBRICANT. IT ONLY TAKES ONE DROP. D=! (As you were informed in a certain all-girls homeroom. I KNOW, IT’S ALL COMING BACK, ISN’T IT? :DD)
I hope that you’ve flattened the mountain of insecurities which I have piled up. PEOPLE ARE NOT THAT BAD. They’re not judging you even HALF as much as you think, so don’t get too paranoid. That being said, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE tell me that you didn’t cave in and become one of the crowd. Darling, whilst being a flamingo in a crowd of pidgeons comes with a shitload of self-concious-ness, it also makes you stand out like WOAH. And independance is key, my dear. Never forget that. If you’re not you, you might as well be nothing. I can only hope that you have the same fashion sense as I do right now. Or maybe an even better one?
Also, I hope you’re still buds with Edward and Mai and April. Make sure you talk to them a lot, okay? ANDAND DID YOU EVER MEET THE SCRUFFY HAIRED GUY?! Please tell me you did. <3 When you fall in love, make sure you follow your gut and don’t overthink things~
Finally, I just want to tell you to keep a unique outlook on life; never loose your artistic eye~ Smile and shrug off things, and try to be optimistic! Cherish every moment of life. Don’t forget to go on that roadtrip with Robin — THE X-PERIENCE (with no e, because we’re just so bad like that) — and make sure you hit up at least ONE Pride Parade.

Live life to the fullest, have no regrets! Treat yourself to something really calorific for me later. SOMETHING YUMMY.

KEEP IT FEE-YUHS.
♥ The 2008!Jamie~

We’re Almost There.

December 2, 2008

Like every other person, I frickin’ love it when that date rolls around on the calendar — the date that school (or work, for that matter) closes down for the holidays. Whether it be for Summer or Winter (it really doesn’t make a difference; a disadvantage for someone who resides in the Caribbean, though I suppose some people would think it’s an advantage), the anticipation of waiting for the countdown to shorten is a KILLER, and I can’t help but feel that as you grow older, you grow even more impatient. I have a tiny box on my sidebar of my laptop — a “Beacon Of Hope Box,” as I like to call it. This little glint of light in complete darkness counts down the days left until school closes. Right now, the date on it is set to the 12th of December, and it is victoriously declaring that there are “11 more days until Winter Break!”. Really, I just love that thing.

With me, you see, there is never a simple, boring vacation. I never complain about “being bored,” and whenever I see little kids whining over their boredom during summer break, it annoys me to no end. Last year, for example. Nights were not for sleeping — they were for either going out with friends or talking to friends. During school days, we tend to creep into our beds with dazed eyes at around 10 or 11 — even earlier in some cases — dreading “the early morning after”. During any vacation, nights are exciting and eventful. Going out to eat, or going to see a movie, at 2 in the afternoon isn’t nearly as thrilling as it is when done at 9 at night (or later, but let’s not go there). Everyone — even the people who suck at staying up late *coughRobincough* — gets a blast of energy. It’s amazing.

I remember one particular event during Summer… I think last year? Ed, Robin, Lanora, Tyler and I were going to go in one of those photobooths, to take coomemorative pictures. The thing was, the machine wasn’t working…no matter how many times we pressed the button to turn it on, it just wouldn’t respond. In a sudden burst of hyperactivity, I yelled out “DO ET ZE RUH-SHEE-AN WAY~!” (Armaggedon reference — Lanora would get it), and rammed a cleched fist against the selection keyboard. The screen turned on, and we all celebrated. I was in the midst of my “the Russian way ALWAYS works!” speech when the screen turned dark blue, resembling the “blue screen of death” which people get on laptops. A wall of Matrix-esque text appeared, urging to user to “Peform CTRL+X”, and the five of us dashed away before we were accused of sabotage.
(I didn’t break it. Really. It was… having a moment. Purely coincidencial.)
Ahem…
Naturally, there were tons more things which happened over Summer ’08 — too many to go over. I often find myself looking back on those days, yearning for the next time when Edward and I can have the infamous conversation…
Ed: No school tomorrow.
Me: Or the day after that.
Ed: Or the day after that.
Me: Or the day after that.
Ed: Or the day after that.
Me:Or the day after that.
…you get the idea.

So, until the 12th decides to joyously prance into the scene, I’m trying to keep myself here in the present –in the boring, paternal days — both physically and mentally. It’s a lot harder than it sounds, especially with the sudden onslaught of tests which has appeared on the battlefield which is High School. Still, I’m going to forge on, daydream here and there *coughcoughduringchemistrycough*, and try not to fall flat on my face right before the finish line. I can’t help but wonder, though — what are we going to sabotage this time around?

Not alone.

November 21, 2008

Growing up, I was never the girly-girl.
I never wanted to paint my nails shimmery, light pink, and I never wanted to get the new limited-edition Barbie, which just so happened to come along with a horribly tacky “tiara” which was decorated with a few cheap rhinestones.
I can vaguely remember myself, age 7, talking to one of the “popular girls” at school. Charlotte was her name, I think. “If you want,” she told me, whilst flicking her soft light-brown hair back in a very stand-offish way, “you can hang around with us at lunch today.”
Us referred to the ‘popular grrlz’ back then. My memory is horrible — I honestly can’t remember who the group consisted of. However, I do remember not being the slightest bit interested. “Sorry!” I chirped in response. “I’m going to play Samurai X with Joshua in the field today!”
(We used rulers as swords. It was the most fun thing EVER.)
My childhood consisted of bruises and band-aids. I loved to roll around in the mud and I dreamed of climbing a tree so high that I could eat the clouds (yes, I’m serious). I also went through a very *unique* stage, of which I was obsessed with being a vampire.
Things haven’t changed much since back then.
I’m a lot less tomboy-ish (mind you, I can barely resist the urge to jump straight into a miscellaneous puddle of mud on some days), but I honestly can’t see why people would want to conform themselves to be… like everyone else. I’ll hear about the current trends — things like reading Gossip Girl, Twilight, all of that sort of thing — and I’ll just raise an eyebrow and plug my iPod headphones back in. Whilst people are getting wasted, I’m home talking to my friends online or over the phone.
When people are “dancing” at parties to the beat of the new Akon hit, I’m in my bedroom blasting electronica and pop punk, jumping on my bed and generally thrashing the place (hey, I need to have some fun, too).
The point is, I’ve never even been aware of the prescence of “peer pressure” or “expectations.” I go out there, I do my own thing, and I have a hell of a time doing it. It’s the way to live. I don’t like to talk excessively. I don’t like having people follow me… which is probably why I love to hang around unique individuals.
Robin, Edward, Nora, Mai… they’re the ones who I can be found with on a day-to-day basis. April is my homegurrrl in Canada. Megan’s in the U.S. Ash-chan is in Trinidad; however, she’s in the school which I transferred out of 2 years ago. (We still talk a lot.) They’re many more who I can talk about — but it would take forever, and I doubt anyone would like to sit down and read this for the rest of their lifetime. xD But anyway… they’re all different from me, in many different ways. Yet, simultaneously, we’re exactly the same. I guess you could say that we’re all strangely compatible with each other. They complete me — fo realz.
They don’t necessarily understand me — though I’d like to believe that they do — but, they accept me. And my odd tendencies. In my old school, if word got out that I was a hardcore liberal, I’d be immediately dubbed as some type of freak. I guess the fact that it’s a really “conservative” school plays a key role in that, and we *were* a lot younger, but anyway…
I now wear my beliefs and opinions right on my forehead (figuratively speaking). I don’t impose them on anyone, but if someone starts bashin’, I start thrashin’. I’m withdrawn but not exactly shy, I’m quiet but not very delicate (okay, maybe sometimes I’m a *little* emotional. Whatever.) I am a bundle of contradictions — and I have people around me who, knowing that, still accept me. I’m pretty damn stoked about it, if I do say so myself.
Now, as you can see, I’m rambling on and on, so I probably should stop. I supposed the best thing in this world is having knowledge that you are not alone. I hope that everyone can have that knowledge — even if it’s only concerning one person.