“Every single line means something.”

For the first time in a long time, I feel like creating something amazing.
I don’t want to stick with how I used to be. I want to travel, see, meet — I just want to taste freedom, for a change. I feel like re-defining every bit of my existence. I think it’s about time. I just feel like laying a piece of paper down and painting; I feel like writing and singing and just…doing everything. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so inspired. I wonder why? I guess it’s just one of those things which trigger — the fact that we’re watching Basquiat is pretty much throwing gasoline on the flame. ♥
Speaking of art, this photography project really restores my faith in humanity, even if it’s just a little bit. NOH8 is a silent protest against Proposition 8. Adam Bouska and his partner — Jeff Parshley — “founded” it. Basically, people are photographed with a piece of duct tape over their mouth, “symbolizing their voice not being heard,” and with “NOH8” painted on one of their cheeks. “People” range from famous celeberities to average high-schoolers. It’s pretty amazing, and very inspiring. I think that I’m going to adopt a more “optimistic” outlook on the world — I mean, yeah, the bad, misinformed people exist, but they’re also millions of people who believe in equality; in self-expression. I’ll just have a few laughs at the ignorance and occasionally snap out at them… but from now on, I’m gonna try to focus on the positives. YEP.

(…Let’s see how long that lasts.)

AHEM, ANYWAY. New resolution: write a poem every day. Short’s fine. 4 lines is fine. (…I sound like I’m talking to myself…) I’ll try to stick to it. Will try to update the Poetry page as I write new ones~ But yeah, even if I don’t post them, I want to write them. D: And also, I want to learn how to play the guitar over summer. BLAH, SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME.

Oh, I also got a hamburger phone. THE FIRST STEP IN REDOING MY ROOM FURNITURE-WISE.

And finally…
this is so amusing:

This Is My Symphony

The book which I’m currently working on is called “Symphony.” It’s a fantasy — not all dragons and elves, but it’s pretty detailed. It opens up the world so that it’s in “layers,” or different dimensions, each with their own customs and whatnot which, in turn, affect the characters. Speaking of which, the main characters are Aiden D’esparis, Kana Marianne, Amaya Kumori and Seth. (Seth’s lack of a last name is on-purpose, of course. I didn’t get lazy. Really. >.>;)
I chose the name “Symphony” because a symphony is made up of people — different people, who play instruments which don’t sound the same, yet… they can still come together, despite those differences, and tell a beautiful tale. And it’s the characters who make a story worth reading, right? I’m focusing a lot on characteral developement for this novel — giving myself a chance to brush up on my dialouge-writing skills and whatnot.
As for the characters, I guess I should talk about them! x3

(yes, I know. I have MAD tablet skillz.)

First up is… Aiden. Aiden, Aiden, Aiden. xDD He’s incredibly unconventional. I’m REALLY proud of him, because his personality isn’t suitable for a “hero” at all. He’s got a short fuse, glares at everyone and everything, is horribly violent and, in a nutshell, comes across as a complete dick. But since I want my characters to be as real as possible, he obviously has several different sides to him. As the story progresses, he tends to get a bit… dorky, so to speak — and he jokes around a fair bit. He’s actually very emotional, and if you read between the lines of his dialouge and actions, you can pretty much see “The Real Aiden.” His backstory is that he’s “The Chosen One” of his dimension — but something goes terribly wrong, and his powers don’t seem to activate. This, of course, was a circumstance beyond his control… yet, people of his dimension freak out and eventually he developes a reputation as a “demon,” who was trying to lead the world to ruin. After living under this pressure for a long time, Aiden finally snapped. He denies being “The Chosen” altogether now, and was able to travel to Pandora’s dimension. He doesn’t plan on turning back and going home, either — to him, “Home” doesn’t exist.
Kana is an innocent, sweet, yet cursed girl. She was born with the curse of misfortune, meaning that she has horrible luck and everyone who comes into close contact with her ends up getting injured — or negatively affected in some way. At first, only small things happened — like her friend’s bracelet snapping — but as Kana grew, so did the intensity of the curse. The event which pushed her off the edge was when the guy she was seeing, whose name I’m going to change, got into an “accident.” Whether he survived or not is something which is revealed later on in the book — Kana refuses to talk about it. Kana is pretty spacey, and, like I said, innocent — but I’ve planned out a few scenes where she shocks everyone with her knowledge on… erm… “certain subjects.”
I decided against Kana’s curse affecting her physical self. Kana’s the type of girl who cherishes her friends and loved ones more than herself — if the curse affected her, then it wouldn’t…hurt her as much, so to speak. It’s a bit complicated, but it makes sense to me. xD; It’s like… she loves them, but she’s afraid of being with them because she doesn’t want them to get hurt. I think them getting hurt will, in turn, hurt Kana even more — especially since she would know that it was her fault.
Amaya is…well, I haven’t planned her out as much. She’s the hardcore member of the group. She’s tall, lean, and kickass. (The small, chibi-esque sketch doesn’t do the character design which I’ve conjured up in my head justice). She’s an assassin from her village and takes direct orders from the Chief of it. Amaya is also unconventional, she does what she wants when she wants to do it… she’s straight-forward and doesn’t take any b.s. from anyone. I think Amaya is based on the person I want to be, actually. xD; Her backstory is still in construction — she joins Kana, Aiden and Seth a bit later on though.
Seth is my love. He was the first member of the group who I ever wrote about. I remember it so clearly — during Winter Break, I was listening to Castle On The Hill from the Edward Scissorhands soundtrack. I sat down and just typed up a scene which fit the melody — Seth’s “prelude”, the opening scene. Before I knew it, ideas were flowing. Danny Elfman’s work inspired me to name my novel Symphony.
Anyway. Seth is basically a mystery. Technically, he’s dead. The “antagonist” of the story killed him right as the story began — however, Pandora was able to revive him. The process itself is a lot more complicated, and it’ll make more sense when you actually sit down and read the actual thing… but yeah. Seth has a strange, naive character. He’s very unpredictable and tends to worry a lot — very caring, and he tries his best. xD; His backstory and purpose for being IN the story are both really complex, I think a bit too complex — I’ll have to narrow it down. But, yes. Seth’s soul is living in a medium, which is his “corpse” — except, it’s not a corpse, since it’s actually functioning as a proper body. It’s not perfect, though (JEEZ, SO MANY CONTRADICTIONS) and sometimes it randomly shuts down and he goes into a “doll-like state.” On the other hand, he can also go into a “supreme state”, where he is pretty much unstoppable and can destroy anything in his way. o.o;
The story focuses on 2 “sides”. One is that of Pandora, the eccentric magician who’s character is WAY too much fun to write, and the other is of the “antagonist” who currently lacks a name. xD; Both are after a box with tons of power — its possesion runs in Pandora’s family (i.e: Pandora’s Box). This box has the power to do all sorts of things which fit into the story and various events in it.
Pandora, herself, is a LITTLE bit like Yuuko from xxxHolic, but the two of them are actually very different. Pandora is less serious, for one — though she has her moments. She’s bombastic and silly, yet she’s one of the most powerful characters to be introduced in the entire storyline.
Honestly, I wanted to write something which could be made into a video game. I KNOW, SHOOT ME NOW. xD But I wanted it to be a good story, too — since good games always have very interesting storylines. The characters feel like my children, which is sort of strange (since all of them are older than me, ahaha), but still cool. =] As of today, the book is 23 pages long on Verdana, size 9. I took a break from writing because of exams — but I plan on resuming soon, though. I’m hoping I can tell this story to the very end! My goal is to make it as fun and casual to read as possible — whilst still making it a deep, interesting and EPIC story, which one could analyze if they wanted to. Wish me luck, I’ll definitely need it. o.o;

Hehe.
– Jamie xx

❝One person’s craziness is another person’s reality.❞

I don’t really follow actors, actresses or celebrities. I’m pretty stupid when it comes to that sort of thing, which is pretty weird for a teenaged girl. But, I have to say, the one “celebrity” which I can, and always will, obsessively stalk look up to and devote every bit of my respect to is a director known as Tim Burton. To me, he isn’t just a director — the man is a mastermind; a genius which deserves recognition higher than any other man. He is an artist; his mind works in a way which is brilliantly difficult to understand. He is complex, surrounded in this aura of mystery.

It all started with The Nightmare Before Christmas. I’m aware that he didn’t direct it, but still — “Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas.” The name just…stuck in my head. The songs were amazing; the characters (even Oogie Boogie ._.) were all loveable, and Sally was (and still is) one of the very few female leads who I actually do not regard as a complete and utter pansy (and LYDIA, can’t forget her). Not to mention, The Nightmare is what planted the seeds for my complete and utter obsession with stopmotion films. I recently downloaded Nightmare Revisited — a bunch of my favourite bands re-did all of the musical pieces in the original Nightmare Before Xmas, and whilst the original will always be my favourite, the remakes really do them justice. (Except for Jack’s Lament by The All-American Rejects. SERIOUSLY, WHY THE HELL DID THE LAME BAND GET THE BEST SONG IN THE FILM? Ugh. KoRn did “Kidnap The Sandy Claws” justice, and Marilyn Manson really and truly aced “This Is Halloween. :DD But I’m getting off-topic, so…xD)

Then came Edward Scissorhands. This is the film which blew me away with all its metaphorical content. It hit a very, very sore spot for me. In Caroline Thompson’s commentary, she described it as “a fable…a story that people don’t necessarily believe, but they understand…. [Edward Scissorhands] is about feeling like you don’t belong…about wanting to belong, about trying so hard to belong, yet you just can’t belong.” She hit the nail right on the head — given that heart-wrenchingly, nostalgic feeling which I experience everytime I watch it, overflowing with beautiful imagery, exquisite music… Edward Scissorhands had a huge impact on my life, in a way I can’t even put into words. “It expresses the feeling that your image and how people perceive you,” Burton said, “are at odds with what is inside you.”

(Yes. I look at his films’ commentaries. Sue me. I also have most of the soundtracks.)

Burton grew up in the suburbs — just like the town we see in Edward Scissorhands. Happy faces, cute little families, all of that. I think I can relate to him in how he must’ve felt. I’d describe it as feeling “like a flamingo in a crowd of pidgeons.” It may sound vain, but think about it. A flamingo in a crowd of pidgeons may stand out, but what makes you think that that’s a good thing? The pidgeons wouldn’t exactly acknowledge or appreciate the flamingo, the flamingo would hate the pidgeons — probably sometimes wishing that it, itself, were a pidgeon — and then it all just ends up being one big mess.

When talking about his teenaged years (regarding his love for horror films rather than going out in the sun and being another All-American Boy) Burton said: “I felt most monsters were basically misperceived — I thought that they usually had more heartfelt souls than the human characters around them.” I couldn’t have put it better myself — I’ve always felt that way — even before I knew of Burton’s works. As a child, I loved the Witch in Sleeping Beauty. Maleficent? I’m not sure I spelt that right. “She was just upset about not getting invited to the princess’ party,” I’d tell my mother. My mother would chuckle and pat me on the head, saying that I was a strange one. Never has someone honestly agreed with me. Many just say that they do — but I know they really don’t. Tim Burton saying that line alone — without even knowing how much of an impact it had on this silly girl — was enough to gain a lifetime of respect from me.

Next was Big Fish. The film itself beautifully blends reality and fantasy. It brings fiction to life without seeming pretentious or ignorant. Edward Bloom was able to live in his beautifully magical world — all the while, staying in reality. Amazing, profoundly amazing. The ending was THE BEST, and the characters were all so silly — each having their own little quirks.

I guess, in a nutshell, Tim Burton will always be my idol. I’ve always, always, ALWAYS wanted to meet him. Just to shake hands with him would be a great honour. He’s my idea of an artist — he is what I want to aspire to be. He can convey so much expression, so much emotion, in the simplist of scenes.

To put it simply:
He is a genius.

Blind Cats & Passing Thoughts

This is a strangely fun thing to do… Basically, open up a drawing program — like Paint or Photoshop — close your eyes, and draw a cat.

HERE ARE MY MONSTROSITIES DARLINGS~

They didn’t come out so badly, did they…? xDD

I’ve been experimenting with my photo editting software. I made a new banner for this blog~ Also, I’m colouring a black and white image from the manga series, Kuroshitsuji. It’s actually a lot harder than one might think…Robin’s caught on with the design bug, and she happily coloured a picture of an apparently very hardcore palm tree. Straight from an online colouring book, no less. xD

Tomorrow, my sister, my sister’s husband, and my brother arrive — along with Nicole, my two-year-old niece. Haven’t seen them in a while; they live in England. I’m also going on a small shopping trip with Robin at around noon — though I’m not so sure on what I want to buy. I think I’ll just pick up a couple of Christmas presents for the family…
On Wednesday, I plan on doing some baking. Should be fun. I’ve been slowly getting into the Christmas spirit — not very much so, but the more you complain about not getting into it, the longer it takes to actually do so, right? As I type this, I’m sitting right by our family’s synthetic tree. Even if it’s not real, this tree has been here ever since my first Christmas. It’s pretty damn special, if I do say so myself. Besides, cutting down a real tree would damage the environment. xDD I think I’ll do some photography later on — the ornaments look gorgeous, gathering every beam of light which they can~
I’ve been working on a novel. It’s not very long — only about 3100 words so far. It’s not like anything which I’ve ever read. I’m making it fantasy-esque, however not sickeningly so. (I honestly can’t stand fantasy. Names are too complicated. JUST NAME THE KID BOB, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, NOT GORBARXIR IV.) I would label it as a modern-day fantasy, but that makes it sound like some horrible rendition of Sabrina: The Teenage Witch. (Jeez, I forgot about that show…) Besides, when I think “modern-day” I think of Gossip Girl and The Clique. Dear god, imagine Gossip Girl gone fantasy… *shudders*
It guess, if I had to label it, it would be… unique. xD I have fun working on it at random moments — it’s style isn’t anything major; it’s descriptive yet casual, complex yet simple, and I adore all of the characters in my own special way. I guess a more detailed post about it will come up in the future; I just thought I’d mention it.
It’s just about midnight as I write this, though according to WordPress, it’s 4 in the morning. (I really should fix that time. Eh.) Yes, folks, I’ve become nocturnal. Again. Mornings are hell for me. My mother doesn’t bother coming into my room — she settles for banging on the door and shrieking my name. I swear, one of these days… xD These days, I’ve been heading bed at 2 a.m. Not very good, right? I think I’ll stick in an extra 2 hours of sleep and cut this post short. It’s pretty pointless, anyway. xDD